Comforting Pain

She whispered “will it hurt me?” “Of course not” answered he “It’s a very simple process, You can rely on me.” She said “I’m very frightened, I’ve not had this before. My friend has had it five times And said it can be sore.”
It was growing rather painful,
Tears formed in her eyes, It was hurting quite a bit now, It must have been a size. “Calm yourself” he whispered “His face filled with a grin “Try and open wider, So I can get it in.” “It’s coming now” he whispered “I know” she cried in bliss. Feeling it deep within her now, She said “I am glad I’m having this.” And with a final effort She gave a frightened shout. He gripped it in anguish And quickly pulled it out. She lay back quite contended Sighed and gave a smile. She said “I’m glad I came now .You made it worth my while.”
Now if you read this
carefully, The dentist you will find Is not what you imagined. It’s just your dirty mind…

The Staff of Life

A nun and a priest were crossing the Sahara Desert on a camel. On the third day out, the camel suddenly dropped dead without warning:

After dusting themselves off, the Nun and the Priest surveyed their situation. After a long period of silence, the Priest spoke.

“Well, Sister, this looks pretty grim.”

“I know Father. In fact, I don’t think it likely that we can survive more than a day or two.”

“I agree.” Says the Father. “Sister, since we are unlikely to make it out of here alive, would you do something for me?”

“Anything, Father.”

“I have never seen a woman’s breasts and I was wondering if I might see yours.”

“Well, under the circumstances I don’t see that it would do any harm.”

The nun opened her habit and the Priest enjoyed the sight of her shapely breasts, commenting frequently on their beauty.

“Sister, would you mind if I touched them?” She consented and he Fondled them for several minutes.

“Father, could I ask something of you?”

“Yes, Sister?”

“I have never seen a man’s appendage. Could I see yours?”

“I suppose that would be OK.” The Priest replied lifting his robe.

“Oh Father, may I touch it?”

The priest consented and after a few minutes of fondling he was sporting a huge erection.

“Sister, did you know, that if I insert my appendage in the right place, it can give life?”

“Is that true Father?”

“Yes, it is, Sister.”

“Oh Father, that’s wonderful. Stick it in the camel and let’s get the hell out of here!” 😂

The Halfwit

A man owned a small ranch near Great Falls, Montana. The Montana Labor Department got a tip that he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an investigator out to interview him.

“I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them,” demanded the investigator

“Well,” replied the rancher, “there’s my ranch hand who’s been with me for 3 years. I pay him $1200 a week plus free room and board.”

“The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $1000 per week plus free room and board.”

“Then there’s the halfwit. He works about 18 hours every day, with no days off, and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week and pays his own room and board.”

“But, I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night, and he also sleeps with my wife occasionally.”

“That’s the guy I want to talk to… the halfwit,” says the investigator.

“You’re talking to him,” replied the rancher.

Sunday, June 27, 2021

That Sense of Community

I am still pretty stoked with my car, and like anyone who gets infatuated with their toys, I want to learn as much as I can about it. There is only so much I can learn on my own, but thanks to the wonders of the internet, I can join one of the many social media forums to ask questions and get demoralizing replies from complete strangers!

My car is only being used as an example here. You can find social media for just about any passion project imaginable, and they all follow the same basic pattern, and this week I would like to share my observations on the structure of these social groups.

In all boils down to your founders, founders’ friends, groupies, newcomers, trolls, and usurpers.

The founders are the ones who started the community, set the stage, and worked to build a following. They encourage newcomers to join, but paradoxically they don’t really like a lot of the newcomers because they eventually see them as parasitic or possible marauders. Occasionally, the founders are replaced by usurpers, but more on that later.

Founders’ friends are people the founders knew from outside the group. They have a tendency to use their relationship to the founders as leverage within the community. Sometimes they even start to bully other members. When a community becomes toxic, they are usually to blame.

Groupies are the long time fans and contributors of the community. They typically don’t hold any positions of real power within the community, but they know the ropes and can use that knowledge to their advantage. You may also find entire subgroups within this group.

And then there are the newcomers. People who show up looking to join the community for various reasons, and are therefore the most diverse aspect of the group, and they can be broken up into the invited, the referred, the naive, and the cringe.

The invited should be obvious. A founder invited them, and at first they get preferred treatment. It is not uncommon for founders’ friends to get jealous and snipe these people, but sometimes they fit in just fine and move on to become founders’ friends or groupies.

The referred show up when a group member or even someone else recommends the group. They have a better than average chance at fitting in, but they were interested in the group’s main focus prior to knowing that the group existed. These people were not looking to join if someone else had not prompted them first.

The naive are those who recently became interested in a subject. Maybe they bought a telescope or a car or a comic book, and are now looking for like minded people to learn and share their experience and sought out a group to help them. The odds are against them when it comes to clicking with the group, but occasionally it can happen.

Finally we get to the cringe. They also come in a variety of flavors, but their main feature is that their interest is more focused on the community or group than on the interest of the group. Sometimes it’s like, “Hey guys, I bought the decoder ring! Can I join your club now?” They are essentially attention whores. Sometimes if the cringe type does not get the attention they crave, they can morph into one of our next two types: The trolls and usurpers.

I think we all know what trolls are, but just in case: Trolls are bad faith actors. They are there to mess with people. “Don’t feed the trolls” means never engage with them in discourse. If you take the effort to explain something to them, it will be in vain. If you argue with them, it will also be in vain. Any acknowledgement of a troll is likely to lead to problems for the community.

Finally, we get to the usurpers. They do not spend a lot of time chit-chatting with the community. These are entities that wish to take over a group. The usurper can be an individual, a private group, or a corporate interest. Basically they saw that some community existed, and decided they wanted to annex it for themselves. Sometimes they try to sway people to follow them instead, and sometimes they try to convince the founders to hand it over. Sometimes there is even an amicable exchange of funds. In any event, they want to be your group’s new leader.

If you look around, you’ll see this fascinating structure exists in all social settings. You’ll find it where you work, in schools, churches, cults, and anyplace people gather together on a regular basis. In modern times it is how online forums are structured. Even some families follow this.

While I’m sure you can get more granular, these are the main types that I could think of. Did I miss any?


After Thoughts

I hope you enjoyed this week’s exposition. It was something I started writing a few weeks ago, and today I thought I’d just go ahead and publish it.

In other news, I think my new job might actually be starting to grow on me a little, and it might just work out after all. Sorry Amazon.


Kudos

Once again, thanks to our main contributor, Big D. The submission page remains open for more jokes. As of this writing, there are currently 3 weeks worth scheduled in the queue.

Pax,

-f2x