Sunday, November 17, 2019

So What Else is There to Talk About?

It’s going to be a while before Gail grows out of her “cute” stage, and I’d rather not limit the “Sunday Rant” to a singular topic. While I suppose featuring a weekly picture of her would be harmless, I would like to move on to other topics.

The trouble is, I can’t really think of anything I want to talk about this week. I know what’s on my mind, but I know better than to open my mouth on certain subjects… And no, it’s not because I fear the PC police… OK, well maybe a little, but actually it is because when you make certain personal views public, that’s when people pigeon hole you and say, “that’s all this guy is about”.

Ooo! Ooo! I know what I’d like to talk about: How come every other webcomic out there is mentioned on either Wikipedia or TV Tropes or some other quasi-authoritative medium, but PitP is totally off the radar? How is it that even bad webcomics with only 16 pages created by a 14 year old 7 years ago has third party acknowledgement, but a webcomic that has been active for nearly 16 years is still only vaguely known to exist by a handful of search engines, and then only after you type in some arcane phrase?

On second thought, I’d better not talk about this. I can already feel the pigeon hole closing in, and if anyone ever did review this site and/or comic, whatever they wrote would probably just annoy me.

I should just count obscurity as one of my blessings.


Kudos

And speaking of obscure blessings, I want to thank ole George and Glenn for continuing to email me jokes. You know, a lot of these jokes are just FWD’s that have been handed down from e-mail to e-mail over the years. You can help give these wandering jokes a new home here by copy/pasting the joke on our submission page. You could also forward your FWD’s to flush2x@gmail.com.

“The dog is the most faithful of animals and would be much esteemed were it not so common. Our Lord God has made His greatest gifts the commonest.”
― Martin Luther

Pax,

-f2x

Sunday, November 10, 2019

It’s suppose to be Sunday’s Rant,

not Gail’s weekly update.

So how’s the new pup?

She’s fine.

At a certain point, their really is not anything worth reporting. Gail is getting bigger, she eats, sleeps, poops, pees, and attacks me in my sleep at 3 o’clock in the morning because she wants to play.

She digs in the yard, chases the cat, and runs from the vacuum cleaner. It is your basic dog stuff.

Of course she is quite a bit bigger now, and she keeps growing. At 14 weeks Gail weighs 27 pounds (12kg). Online estimation calculators suggest she will ultimately weigh between 62 and 68 pounds (~30kg), and personally I am hoping we can do better than that.

So unless she does something noteworthy, I’m going to put this topic to bed for a while. Puppies are cute and all, but there is more to life than blogging about them.


Kudos

Let’s keep this brief: Thanks for the jokes, Glenn and George. Here’s our submission page. My e-mail address is flush2x@gmail.com.

“Opinion has caused more trouble on this little earth than plagues or earthquakes.” -Voltaire

Pax,

-f2x

Sunday November 3, 2019

Canine Quintessence

So today’s problem is that Gail seems to lack any inkling of empathy. Sure, to outside observers she seems adorable, but behind those cute puppy eyes, I get the feeling that there’s no one actually there.

To contrast with Grace, I could feel the presence of another soul, as in literally feel it. This might sound a little crazy, even a little macabre, but hear me out.

As I held on to Grace during her euthanasia, I felt her presence leaving after the first injection and said so out loud. The vet then informed me that she was in fact dying at that very moment. He told me the first injection was actually lethal, and that even if he did nothing else, she would still die, but it would just take longer. The second injection is used to get it over with and immediately stop the heart.

It was a shitty time to learn that little bit of trivia, but I digress.

The point is, I can feel that presence… that ghost inside. It’s something that is real. You can feel it when you hug someone verses hugging a pillow. It’s not just their pulse, their warmth, and the rise and fall of their chest as they breath. There is something in them. I like to think it is their soul.

You know, for some reason I cannot remember a whole lot about Grace’s transition from puppy to dog. That first year was a bit of a blur, but it seemed like from the start that she was in there. I don’t get that same sense with Gail. As spunky and lively as Gail is, it’s like she’s a simulation of a dog.

I dunno… Maybe it takes time for that spark to develop. On the plus side, she continues to grow at an astonishing rate, she seems genuinely content, she eats her dog food, begs for dog treats, has endless energy to play with me and her toys, is very healthy, and has adjusted well to her new home… If only it felt like she were actually in there.


Kudos

OK, it’s the usual spiel. You can thank George and/or Glenn for this week’s jokes. Not that anyone else would ever bother, but the submission page is still there… gathering dust. I’ve also got an interesting spam collection happening with flush2x@gmail.com, but you could also send me jokes through that e-mail address as well.

Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read. – Groucho Marx

Pax,

-f2x

Sunday, October 27, 2019

Poco a Poco

And now it’s time for the weekly Gail report.

I have had nearly 4 weeks with my new pup, and Gail is now 12 weeks old. It is utterly amazing how long that four weeks feels, but also how much progress has been made. Just yesterday she was able to go down the back door stairs for the first time.

This is a huge breakthrough, since she has to go down three steps in order to go outside. Once she started doing it on her own, we practiced again and again, down the stairs, out the door, around the yard, in the door, up the stairs, and have a treat! Huzzah!

And after all that, she still went in and pissed on the carpet, but that’s what the Bissel is for… That’s also why I’m replacing the wall to wall carpet with the sheet vinyl flooring that I purchased from Home Depot a couple weeks ago. It looks like real wood. I’m installing it myself, so it might take me a while.

One other thing Gail has managed to accomplish is getting up onto the couch on her own. She’s still working on being able to jump up onto the bed, but for now there is a step she can use to climb up on her own.

She fully grasps the concept of her name, and usually obeys “come here”. We’re also making pretty good progress on “stay”, and most importantly, “Let it go” with regards to the cat. As Gail has gotten bigger, putting an end to her predatory cat chasing is an absolute priority.

Of course to train her, I grab her by the neck and slam her against the wall as hard as I can while yelling, “Let it go!” She usually drops the cat after the first three slams, but more recently it feels like she’s finally starting to take the hint and avoid the cat altogether… Don’t I wish… If I’m not there to say, “A-Ah! Let it go!” followed by a treat, she will chase Alex like a walking squeak toy.

And that’s why four weeks feels like forever. A few nights ago she picked up her water dish and slung it around the kitchen while I was doing the dishes, then she chased the cat while I stumbled around on the newly installed “Slip ‘N Slide”.

But then she curled up next to me in bed last night and slept like a little angel, and for a moment I thought, it’s going to be all right.


Kudos

Once again, a big shout out to Glenn and George, and a reminder that our submission page is for sumbitting jokes, not spammy garbage about making money on YouTube. Same can be said for using flush2x@gmail.com as well. Great for sending jokes, but at least Google does a fine job of filtering out the junk.

It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and prove it.

Pax,

-f2x

Sunday, October 20, 2019

Doggone Web Advice

So in case you haven’t heard, I recently procured a lab pup following the loss of my beloved Grace. Now Grace was a very good dog. Though I raised her from pup, I resist taking full credit for why she turned out to be so remarkable. I really think Grace was just born that way.

The new pup, Gail, is not so naturally graceful. She has a lot of issues that need to be addressed, and I’m not above using the internet to find suggestions on how to deal with those issues.

The biggest problem with internet advice is the signal to noise ratio, and this is never truer than looking for behavioral training advice on dogs. There are a few things that work for most dogs, some things that work for some dogs, and a lot of things that will never work for your dog.

Take crating your pup… for instance… My vet even thought this was a great idea. This. did. not. work.

I put the crate in the kitchen, lined it with a cozy comforter, filled it with toys, played with her in and around it for a few days. Fed her treats and food in it. So far so good, right? Then we put the door on it, and we tried a few sessions where she spent time in it, but then let her out if she became agitated, and always positive rewards! Great! But then it’s time to go back to work…

What I came home to… Oh God… I’m still having nightmares…

Not only had she shit in her properly sized crate, she also managed to roll around in it, and stomp a considerable amount of the excrement through the cage, creating a fine spray of shit all over the kitchen.

That crate is in the city dump now. When I leave for work, I closed the doors to certain rooms, but otherwise Gail now has free roam of the house. Other than having to clean the pee and the poo from the carpets and tossing out the latest shreds from the remains of the couch, there really aren’t any behavioral problems to which I can speak…

…without fear of repercussions.


Kudos

Do you like what you’re reading? Do you want to help out? Head on over to my Patreon– Oh wait. I don’t have one of those… Yet. In the meantime, you can help out by heading on over to our submission page and dropping off a joke that you’ve either found on the internet, or even some [OC] you made by yourself. You can also send the jokes to my email at flush2x@gmail.com like Glenn and George do.

Oh, in case you were wondering which jokes were Glenn’s and which came from George last week, it was a trick: They were all from George.

Pax,

-f2x