Sunday, January 3, 2021

I Have No Idea What Comes Next

After 2020, things couldn’t possibly get any worse, could they? Well, they could, and it is prudent to brace yourself for the possibility that the apocalypse was just getting warmed up.

On the other hand, perhaps the worst is behind us, or at least we will have a reprieve while the Kraken naps for a few more years.

One thing I pretty much know isn’t about to happen:

We ain’t gonna go back to the way things were.


Kudos

There are a number of jokes still left in the queue from the anonymous donor who used our submission page. Thanks again, whoever you are.

“You know how sometimes you tell yourself that you have a choice, but really you don’t have a choice? Just because there are alternatives doesn’t mean they apply to you.” ― Rick Yancey, The 5th Wave

Pax,

-f2x

Sunday, December 27, 2020

Peanut Butter Pills

OK, so you might notice that Gail looks kind of soulfull and sweet in the this shot. Indeed, she has made an extreme amount of progress, and it is all thanks to this wonderful little pill she takes every afternoon. It’s called fluoxitine, and it is used to treat separation anxiety. I call it a miracle!

Some of you might recognize the drug. It is the same drug that goes under the brand name of Prozac. While it is primarily used to treat depression in humans, fluoxitine is an anti-anxiety drug when administered to dogs, and is the only approved medication for separation anxiety in dogs. As an added bonus the overall improvement in Gail’s temprament is something to behold. She is… Lovable.

I guess once you take away a dog’s anxiety, they tend to enjoy being cuddled and fawned over more. It is obvious that Gail is much more content these days, and she is far more trainable. Although not perfect, she is starting to get a grip on a basic vocabulary, and will typically retreive the object you ask for such as a ball, rope, or Wubba from the other room.

Even my cat, Alex has noticed the improvement. His anxiety level has also dropped thanks to the fact that Gail has stopped using him as a chew toy. Every once in a while, Gail will get a little too “nosey”, but for the most part she is respecting Alex’s boundaries.

Initially I was told it would take up to 30 days before there would be any behavioral changes, but honestly I could tell that something was happening after only two weeks. It has been a little over two months, and Gail is like a new dog. It is also of note that the medication is rather affordable. At only $18 for a 60 day supply, I can keep Gail on this pill indefinitely to ensure that her previous disposition never comes back.


Kudos

Some amazingly kind and generous soul has been using our submission page during my extended hiatus. They are a bit different from my usual style, but the submitter was kind enough to provide them, so I will be posting them over the next few weeks with minimal editing. I hope you all enjoy.

“I’m envious of actors. You shoot a movie or you do a season of ‘Big Love,’ and then you’re on hiatus and you have a bunch of free time.” ― Jack McCollough

Pax,

-f2x

The Mosquito Trap

A new mosquito eliminator just came out on the market that promises to effectively kill 98% of all mosquitoes. It comes as a kit with a bowl of salt, a bowl of tequila, a banana peel, and a rock.

So the idea is, you set out the four objects next to each other. The mosquito will see the salt and think it is sugar. It will fly down and lick the salt making the mosquito thirsty. Then it will see the tequila and think it is water so it will drink the tequila and get drunk. As the mosquito stumbles away, it will slip on the banana peel, fall, and smash its head on the rock.

The mosquito will then die of CoVid 19.