Frank, Lou, and Barney were enjoying a few quiet drinks at the bar, when they decided to get in on the weekly raffle. They each bought a ticket, and when the raffle was drawn, they each won a prize.
Frank won a toaster, Lou won a tea kettle, and Barney won a toilet brush.
When they met in the bar the next day, Barney asked the other two how they liked their prizes.
“Great,” said Frank. “Mine makes perfect toast.”
“I like mine too,” said Lou of his tea kettle.
Frank then asked, “And how’s the toilet brush, Barney?”
“Not so good,” said Barney. “I reckon I’ll go back to wiping with tissue.”
So last week I mentioned my passion for banana peppers. To be more precise, it’s more of a love of homemade pickled banana peppers. Well, guess what?
Earlier this week I picked several fruits off my plants. I sliced them, put them in a jar, and poured a boiling hot vinegar solution over top of them. The next day I made a homemade pizza with a hand tossed crust, and topped it with pepperoni, onion, and my delicious banana peppers.
To be honest, some of the peppers were a little underripe, and all of them were kind of small. The flavor reflected the deficiencies, but it was still far superior to anything you could have bought at the store.
It’s summer time, and I’m eating well.
More great jokes ahead for the first week of summer! Thanks to George for sending me this weeks material, and thanks to Glenn for the many pictures of naked ladies. Of course I can’t post the porn, so if you would like to submit jokes I would be ever so grateful. You can also send jokes to my email at firstname.lastname@example.org. Every little bit helps!
Thanks all, and have a wonderful day!
Shawn was on the phone with his ex-wife Margery. Somehow their conversation drifted from child custody issues to aches and pains.
Margery asked, “Well do you ever get a shooting pain in your neck as if someone were stabbing a voodoo doll with a long sharp pin?”
“No, not really,” he replied.
There was a brief pause before Margery asked, “How about now?”
A flight attendant watched a passenger trying to stuff his belongings in the overhead bin of the plane. It seemed obvious that he should have checked his over-sized luggage.
Irritated, the man snorted, “I don’t have this problem when I fly other airlines.”
The flight attendant smiled, “When you fly other airlines, I don’t have this problem either.”