After an amicable divorce, Joe decided to start dating again. Not really sure of how to start, he decided to look in the personals column of the local newspaper. After reading through all the listings, he circled three prospects that seemed like possible matches in terms of age and interests before heading off to work.
A few hours later, he received a phone call from his ex-wife. “Joe, sorry to call you at your job, but I came over to your house to borrow some tools and saw the ads you circled in the paper.”
“Listen, Julie, the divorce was your idea,” scolded Joe. “You can’t expect me to just sit at home alone by myself for the rest of my life. I’m moving on, and I suggest you do the same!”
“Oh no, I think it’s great that you’re moving on,” explained his ex. “I just wanted to tell you not to call the one in the second column because it’s me.”
As the new truck driver, Sam had to make a delivery to Death Valley in California. When he returned from the trip he informed his boss that if he ever got assigned to go out there again, he would quit.
The boss was not very sympathetic, and mentioned that his Death Valley account was one of his most profitable.
“Now see here,” said Sam in protest. “When I arrived it was 128 degrees Fahrenheit. After just a few minutes I was so miserable I was afraid I was going to die.”
“Well, it doesn’t look as though you succumbed to the heat,” chided the boss.
“That was the other problem,” complained Sam. “After the two hours it took them to unload the truck, the heat made me so miserable I was afraid I wasn’t going to die.”
Back on First
So last week I got a call from work. They wanted me back on first shift, and they had already let the last remaining 3rd shift temp go. To be honest, I was relieved. I had had enough, and was eager to return to days.
Don’t get me wrong. I actually enjoy working 3rd shift, but this time it was different. It wasn’t like it used to be. I couldn’t just go in, do my job, and go home. I had to deal with a whole bunch of random chaos every night.
So what’s it like now that I’m back on 1st? Well, it’s basically still chaos, but at least there are other people I know and trust to help me through it.
Some of the daily jokes were provided by George, but a couple were left in the queue by an anonymous donor. Thanks goes out to George and whoever the mystery contributor is. It means a lot. If anyone else would like to add jokes to the site, you can do so on our submission page, or send an email to email@example.com.
During a terrible storm, most of the highway signs became covered with snow. After conducting an extensive study, the state decided to raise all the affected signs an additional 36 inches at a cost of six million dollars.
A TV news channel decided to interview some of their local residents to gage the public sentiment.
“That’s an outrageous price!” said a local farmer, “but I guess we’re lucky the state handled it instead of the federal government.”
“Why is that?” asked the reporter.
“Because knowing the federal government, they woulda decided to lower the highways!”