Tony pulled into a small town that he couldn’t believe still existed in 2019. It was basically a dusty dirt road with a wooden building that said “General Store” and not much else.
Tony noticed a little old man sitting in a rocking chair in front of the store, so he moseyed up and asked him, “What do you folks like to do around here?”
The old man’s voice creaked, “We don’t do nothin’ but hunt n’ fuck.”
Curious, Tony asked, “So what do you hunt?”
The old man replied, “Somethin’ to fuck.”
The husband had been coming home hammered every night for years, and the wife always yelled at him before going to bed angry and alone.
One day the woman decided to try some of that reverse psychology she had read about. When her husband staggered in the door late one night, she was waiting for him in her sexiest lingerie. She sat him in an armchair and gave him a back rub.
“It’s getting late, big boy,” she said in a sultry voice. “Why don’t we go upstairs to bed?”
“We might as well,” slurred the drunken husband. “I’m going to be in trouble anyway when I get home.”
Marv always brought along several condoms when travelling to sites of religious significance. He would then discreetly rub the condoms against artifacts of faith.
Bob, his traveling companion and friend, having witnessed him do this at several major Judeo-Christian sites, asked, “Marv why do you keep doing that. It’s embarrassing! What if you get caught?”
Marv explained, “By blessing these condoms on these artifacts, I can honestly tell any woman I go to bed with that I’ll be able to fuck the hell out of her.”
Unlearning Frugal Internet Habits
YouTube at 240p, video blocking plugins to prevent sites from autoplaying HD video, torrenting movies onto a thumb drive at work so I can watch them at home… Those were easy habits to end, but now there’s that lingering feeling of paralyzing dread each time I want to click on a link.
“Is it going to be worth it?”
Of course you should always ask this question when surfing the internet. I think that’s one thing being on a metered network indirectly taught me. Wasting bandwidth on crappy content doesn’t just use up a limited resource, it uses up my time, and my time is more valuable than the internet.
But still, I need to loosen up. I’ve got a terabyte data limit now, and I’m still only using about a gigabyte per day… which is what I had available to me using a mobile carrier! But who knows, maybe I’ll surprise myself and download a few new distros and try out some new flavors of Linux.
Then again, maybe I’ll subscribe to Hulu’s live TV or something else… I dunno… Maybe I just won’t bother worrying about it.
So once again, no one sent in any jokes… Well, except for Glenn. So I wasn’t going to do this, but it looks like he’s got some new jokes. Brace yourselves though… He’s the prurient one. If your delicate disposition can’t handle naughty blue humor with unashamed F bombs, you might want to steer clear of this place for a while. The submission page is a great way to bring family friendly jokes back to this site. You can also send jokes to email@example.com. Thanks for stopping by, and let’s hope George comes back soon.