Anniversary Shopping

Tony went searching for an Anniversary Present for his wife.

He went into the department store and approached a salesclerk. “I’d like to buy some gloves for my wife,” Tony explained to the attractive saleswoman, “but I don’t know her size.”

She delicately placed her hand in his. “Will this help?” she asked sweetly

“Oh, yes,” he answered. “Her hands are just slightly smaller than yours.”

“Will there be anything else?” she asked as she wrapped the gloves.

“Now that you mention it,” said Tony, “she also needs a bra and panties.”

Sunday, May 17, 2020

Strep Throat Still Sucks

For the past several weeks I’d been dealing with this painful lump in my throat that made it hurt to swallow. I knew it was either strep or cancer. The good news is, it doesn’t appear to be cancer, but it has taken a couple different rounds of antibiotics to knock this shit out of me.

My lymph nodes are still sore, so I’ve been trying to get as much rest as possible. Not that simple when work keeps piling up at my job, but what else can you do?

I am getting better though.


Kudos

Even Glenn’s not sending me much in the way of jokes this week. It’s not like anyone really reads these jokes anymore. I’ll just start posting the latest Dow Jones reports. Got a joke? I’d love to hear it. Head over to the submission page and type it in for me! You can also email it to flush2x@gmail.com.

“My sore throats are always worse than anyone’s.” ― Jane Austen

Pax,

-f2x

Train Wreck Hotel

A man brought his wife along on a business trip to Chicago. They arrived at their hotel and were shown to their room.

The man said, “Dear, I have a brief meeting to go to. Why don’t you rest here until I get back?”

After the husband left the room, the wife lied down on the bed. Just then, an elevated train passed by the window and shook the room so hard, she was thrown from the bed. Thinking this was a freak occurrence, she lied down once more. Again a passing train shook the room so violently, she was thrown to the floor.

Exasperated, she called the front desk and asked for the manager. The manager came right up but was skeptical of the wife’s story.

“Look, lie here on the bed,” the wife directed. “You’ll be thrown right to the floor!”

So the manager laid down next to the wife.

Without warning, the husband walked into the room. “What the hell is going on here?” he demanded in an angry tone.

The manager meekly replied, “Would you believe I’m waiting for a train?”

Virility

A Jew, a Catholic, and a Mormon were having drinks at the bar following an interfaith meeting.

The Jew, bragging on his virility, said, “I have four sons. One more and I’ll have a basketball team.”

The Catholic, pooh-poohed this accomplishment, stating, “That’s nothing, boy. I have 10 sons, one more and I’ll have a football team.”

To which the Mormon replied, “You fellas ain’t got a clue. I have 17 wives. One more and I’ll have a golf course.”