Pathos in the Plumbing
Flush Twice proudly presents:
So last week I got a call from work. They wanted me back on first shift, and they had already let the last remaining 3rd shift temp go. To be honest, I was relieved. I had had enough, and was eager to return to days.
Don't get me wrong. I actually enjoy working 3rd shift, but this time it was different. It wasn't like it used to be. I couldn't just go in, do my job, and go home. I had to deal with a whole bunch of random chaos every night.
So what's it like now that I'm back on 1st? Well, it's basically still chaos, but at least there are other people I know and trust to help me through it.
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What is Flush Twice?
Flush Twice is a JOTD (Joke of the Day) website. New jokes are published every Monday through Friday (midnight EST). There is also a comic in the sidebar that updates every Saturday. We’ve been operating since May of 2003.
Jokes are generously provided by visitors like yourself. If you would like to contribute, please check out our submission page, or e-mail email@example.com. If you know anyone who constantly e-mails you jokes, forward them to us! We’ll take what we can get!
So what makes a joke funny? Well, it boils down to a sudden shift in perception. The story starts you thinking one way, then the punchline turns that thinking on its ear. The art of the joke is to craft a short story that isn’t overly contrived, then deliver a punchline that suddenly shifts your perception about the story you were being told.
Many of the jokes on this site are offensive, and we make no apologies for it. Offensive jokes work by making the reader uncomfortable through the use of a taboo subject thus enhancing the underlying humor. Without the offensive element, the joke would simply not be as funny.
(Just thought you might like to know.)
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A young soldier stood before his commanding officer for a reprimand.
After going through a list of various transgressions, the CO says, “And another thing, I didn’t see you in camouflage practice this morning.”
“Thank you, Sir,” the soldier replied.
Marv and Saul were drinking at the bar. Marv was looking particularly down in the dumps.
“You need a hobby,” suggested Saul. “You should try gardening.”
“I already tried it,” replied Marv. “I’m a terrible gardener.”
“It can’t be that bad,” remarked Saul.
“Oh yeah? Last year I had a rock garden,” explained Marv. “Half of them died.”
The boss returned from lunch only to find his blonde secretary spreading out a box of animal crackers on her desk.
“What the heck are you doing?” asked the boss.
In an aggravated tone the blonde replied, “I’m looking for one of the animals.”
“Why?” he pressed.
“It says right on the box,” she explained, “Do not eat if seal is broken.”
It was a huge party next door with numerous guests arriving. Bob knocked on the door, was greeted heartily, and then led to where the food was in the kitchen.
He sat there happily chatting away with his neighbors for a couple of hours when something clicked. “You know,” he confided to his neighbor, “I wasn’t even invited to this party. I just came over to tell you that some of your guests’ cars are blocking my driveway.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry about that, Bob!” exclaimed the neighbor. “I’ll find out who it is and have them move right away!”
“I’m not sure that’s going to help me,” Bob continued, “My wife and I were going to go out tonight, and she’s been sitting in our car waiting for me to get them moved.”