Educating Acronyms

After holding out for many years, Charlie’s mother finally got a smart phone. It didn’t take her long to figure out how to text, and within a few days he received a text from his mother that read: “What do IDK, LY & TTYL mean?”

He quickly tapped out the reply, “I don’t know, love you, & talk to you later.”

After a brief pause his mom sent, “Okay, I will ask your sister.”


Sleep Disorder

“I can’t get a good nights sleep!” cried the patient. “Every time I get into bed, I think there’s somebody, or some thing, under it. I feel like I’m going crazy!”

“It would seem you are suffering from a form of clinophobia,” remarked the psychiatrist. “It will take some time, but after three sessions a week for ten weeks, I can cure you of this fear.”

“How much is this going to cost me?”

“Two hundred dollars per visit.”

After doing a mental calculation in his head, the patient said, “I’ll have to think this one over.”

Six months later the psychiatrist bumped into the man on the street and said, “You never came to see me again. Has your condition improved on its own?”

“After I realized your services would cost me $6000, I felt like I needed a drink,” explained the man. “After a couple of stiff rounds, my bartender cured me for less than twenty bucks!”

“Really? How is that so?” asked the doctor.

“He told me to cut the legs off my bed!”


Sunday, March 10, 2019

Another Week Already?

Time sure flies when you’re working overtime. I desperately needed it too. After being sick for two weeks, I really missed that sweet, sweet O.T. on my paychecks.

Don’t get me wrong, I still get paid time off where I work, so I’m not quite destitute, but there’s no overtime on the P.T.O. checks, and I really like the extra money.

I heard some financial adviser say this decades ago: “If you earn more than you spend, budgeting isn’t necessary.” Of course, the trick is to earn more than you spend, which under normal circumstances is nigh impossible, but when you get lots of overtime, you spend less because you’re at work, and you make more, because you are at work. Win, win!

And what about work life balance? Well, if the checkbook isn’t balanced, then my life is going to be way out of balance, and working overtime brings it back into balance.

But seriously… if I ever get ahead, I’ll try to set aside some extra “me” time. Meanwhile, I owe, I owe, it’s off to work I go.


Kudos

Jokes were contributed by two individuals known as George and darkmare this week. It’s something that cool people do. If you want to be a cool person, submit a joke by using our submission page, or e-mail your jokes to flush2x@gmail.com. Stay cool!

Pax,

-f2x


The Concerned Child

Two young boys were talking to each other on the playground.

The first one said, “My dad works twelve hours a day to give me a nice home and good food. My mom spends the whole day cleaning and cooking for me. I’m worried sick!”

The other kid replied, “What have you got to worry about? Sounds to me like you’ve got it made!”

The first responded, “Yeah, but what if they try to escape?”