Gail’s Pic of the Week
Dogs and Cars
When I first brought Gail home from the farm, she threw up on me. For the next several months Gail would just about always get car sick within a mile or two. She was even unsure of how to get into the car, and I had to help her into the vehicle up until a few months ago.
The good news is that Gail is now an old pro at getting into the car. She can even hop up into the Envoy without any trouble. Keep in mind that Gail is only 1 year and 10 months old at this time. I'd say she is doing pretty good for a gal her age.
Practically all dogs love to go for car rides. They love sticking their head out the window, and they love the sights and smells. Even if you are merely going to the store, the dog loves it when you let them tag along for the ride.
Of course some people don't like it when you take your dog out for a ride. They like to point out that the temperature in a car can soar to over 104°F in under 10 minutes even on mildly warm days. And yes, people who leave dogs in hot cars for an extended time should be held accountable, but it's the 21st century you fucking overzealous busybodies.
Whether it is my Leaf or my Envoy, I can leave the AC running while I run into the store. It could be over 90°F outside, and the dog is doing just fine. In fact, my vehicle's AC is probably cooler than my house. I'm cheap, and I keep my home thermostat on 80°F in the summer, meanwhile the car is blowing out an icy blast that can give my cheeks frostbite.
So before you get all judgmental because you see a dog left in a car, take a moment to notice if maybe, just maybe the the car is humming, and that maybe the AC is on, and the dog is fine. Take a moment to check for that before you get all sanctimonious in the parking lot, you attention seeking narcissistic bag of shit.
Once again, thanks to Big D. I really appreciate that you're keeping the jokes queued up for me on the submission page.
The Golden Soapbox
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(Just thought you might like to know.)
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A man took his pitbull to the vet and said “My dog is cross-eyed. Is there anything you can do to help?”
“Well,” said the vet, “lets have a look at him.”
The vet picked the dog up and took a good look at its eyes.
The vet shook his head and said, “I’m going to have to put him down.”
“Just because he’s cross-eyed?” said the man.
“No,” replied the vet. “It’s because he’s heavy.”
During a heated quarrel with his parents Marty yelled, “I’m tired of this run down town! I want excitement, adventure, money, and beautiful women. I’ll never find it here at home, so I’m leaving, and don’t you try and stop me!”
With that he headed toward the door.
His father got out of his chair and followed the young man.
“Didn’t you hear what I said? I don’t want you to try and stop me.”
“Who’s trying to stop you?” replied his father. “I want to go with you.”
A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. “I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family,” said the man. “To show you how much we care for you, I’m making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is go to the factory every day and learn the operations.”
The son-in-law interrupted. “I hate factories. I can’t stand the noise.”
“I see,” replied the father-in-law. “Well then you’ll work in the office and take charge of some of the operations.”
“I hate office work,” said the son-on-law. “I can’t stand being stuck behind a desk all day.”
“Wait a minute,” said the father-in-law. “I just make you half-owner of my organization, but you don’t like factories and won’t work in a office. What am I going to do with you?”
“Easy,” said the young man. “Buy me out.”
Jacob was nursing a beer while complaining about how his wife was an ungrateful wench.
The bartender, lending a sympathetic ear, asked what happened.
“It was her birthday, so I bought her a bag and a belt,” explained Jacob. “She said it wasn’t good enough and threw me out!”
“It does seem a bit ungrateful,” remarked the bartender.
“I know, right?!” slurred the man. “It even made her vacuum cleaner run like new again!”