An older man had married to a younger woman. After several years of a very happy marriage, he had a heart attack.
The doctor advised him that his heart was no longer strong enough for strenuous activity, and to prolong his life he should no longer have sex.
After discussing the matter at length, the man and his wife decided that he should sleep in the living room downstairs to save them both from temptation.
After several weeks of celibacy, he decided that life without sex wasn’t worth living, so he headed upstairs.
He met his wife on the staircase and said, “I was just coming up to die.”
She laughed and replied, “And I was just coming down to kill you!”
It had barely been two days into the start of the new school year when the school Principal called little Johnny’s mother for misbehaving.
“Now see here,” said Johnny’s mom, “I’ve had him here at home for nearly three months, and not once did I call you when he misbehaved!”
A business man took his blonde assistant along with him to attend a convention. To keep things strictly professional, he booked separate rooms at the hotel. The following morning he waited patiently in the lobby for her to come down, but to no avail.
He finally had to call her room to find out what happened. The assistant answered the phone in a sobbing voice. “I can’t leave!” she cried pitifully.
“Why not?” asked the business man.
“There are only three doors,” she explained. “One is the bathroom, one is the closet, and the last one has a sign on the handle that says, ‘Do not disturb’!”
Get this: Over the past several months, even during the weeks where I called in sick, I still typically worked more than 40 hours per week.
Needless to say, I’m tired.
You’ll never guess who submitted the jokes this week! It was none other than the famous Glenn and George. Thanks again for the jokes! Of course if you’re reading this and would like to get a “Kudos” mention, just head over to our our submission page and leave a joke. Don’t forget to mention who you are when you do. Another great way is to send an e-mail to me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Sapientia, intellectus, consilium, fortitudo, scientia, pietas, timor Domini.