After hearing a couple’s complaints that their intimate life wasn’t what it used to be, the sex counselor suggested they vary their position.
“For example,” he suggested, “you might try the wheelbarrow. Lift her legs, penetrate, and off you go.”
The eager husband was all for trying this new idea as soon as they got home.
“Well, OK,” the hesitant wife agreed, “but on two conditions. First if it hurts, you will stop right away, and second,” she insisted. “You have to promise we won’t go past my mother’s.”
Feeling a Little Better About Things.
So lately the rants have been a little depressing. It’s not like they were ever meant to be uplifting, but it was meant to be a place for me to vent and get shit off my chest; not a place for me to get in touch with myself. That’s what porn is for.
OK, so I’ve got to sort through some medical bills. You better believe I’m going to be cussing and bitching about that, but not here.
Until next time.
A state trooper pulled a car over for speeding. When the officer asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver said he was a juggler on his way to do a show and didn’t want to be late.
The trooper told the driver he was fascinated by juggling and said if the driver would do a little juggling for him, then he wouldn’t give him a ticket.
The juggler told the trooper he had sent his equipment ahead and didn’t have anything to juggle, so the trooper grabbed some flares from his trunk and asked if he could juggle them.
The juggler said he could, so the trooper lit five flares and handed them to the juggler.
While the man was juggling, another car pulled in behind the patrol car. The other car’s driver got out and watched the performance briefly, then went over to the patrol car, opened the rear door and got in.
Observing this, the trooper went over to the patrol car, opened the door, and asked what he thought he was doing.
The man replied, “You might as well take my ass to jail, because there ain’t no way I’m gonna pass that sobriety test.”
Business had slowed and rumors of layoffs were abound. The company director came down to inspect the office floor, and the floor managers hovered around him like a nervous entourage.
“Who’s in charge of personnel around here?” the director barked.
“That would be me,” said Karen sheepishly.
With his hands on his hips the director instructed, “I need you to get me a list of the department staff broken down by age and sex.”
Karen timidly responded, “Well, currently no one here has been broken down by age or sex. However, we do have a few alcoholics.”