So lately the rants have been a little depressing. It’s not like they were ever meant to be uplifting, but it was meant to be a place for me to vent and get shit off my chest; not a place for me to get in touch with myself. That’s what porn is for.
OK, so I’ve got to sort through some medical bills. You better believe I’m going to be cussing and bitching about that, but not here.
A state trooper pulled a car over for speeding. When the officer asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver said he was a juggler on his way to do a show and didn’t want to be late.
The trooper told the driver he was fascinated by juggling and said if the driver would do a little juggling for him, then he wouldn’t give him a ticket.
The juggler told the trooper he had sent his equipment ahead and didn’t have anything to juggle, so the trooper grabbed some flares from his trunk and asked if he could juggle them.
The juggler said he could, so the trooper lit five flares and handed them to the juggler.
While the man was juggling, another car pulled in behind the patrol car. The other car’s driver got out and watched the performance briefly, then went over to the patrol car, opened the rear door and got in.
Observing this, the trooper went over to the patrol car, opened the door, and asked what he thought he was doing.
The man replied, “You might as well take my ass to jail, because there ain’t no way I’m gonna pass that sobriety test.”
So during the last fireside chat, I might have given some of you the impression that I don't like my dog. Well, I do, but with such boundless energy she can be very tiring. I'm getting on in my years, and having a living bouncy ball sap my energy every day is frustrating.
But Gail is my baby girl, and though she often tests my limits, she does have her up sides. Off hand I can't think of any, but... Oh wait! She does actually settle down, and when I'm sitting on the couch or lying in bed, she is right there snuggled up next to me. She looks at me in such a way as to tell me that I am her everything.
And Gail is still just a pup. Granted, she is an 85 pound musclebound pup, but her brain is still developing. It is always a pleasant surprise when something finally "clicks" in that head of hers, and she learns to control some of the less desirable aspects of her behavior.
Make no mistake, there is a long way to go before Gail is what I would consider a "good" dog, and I have had enough dogs to know the difference. In the meantime, she still gets plenty of toys and treats and belly rubs.
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