A couple brought a bull to mate with their cow, but were having quite a bit of trouble. They called a local veterinarian. When the vet arrived he made a cursory examination of the beast before asking the couple to describe the problem.
The husband explained, “Whenever the bull approaches our cow, she moves away. If he approaches from the back, she moves forward. When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. An approach from the side, and she walks away to the other side.”
The vet thought about this for a minute and asked, “Did you buy this cow in Michigan?”
The couple was dumbfounded. They had never mentioned where they bought the cow.
“How did you know we got the cow in Michigan?” the woman asked.
With a distant look in his eye, the vet replied, “My wife is from Michigan.”
A couple in their eighties just got married and was on their honeymoon. In the hotel room she slipped into something sexy and crawled into bed and waited for her new groom. He was in the bathroom sprucing himself up.
She waited and waited until she could not wait any longer. She got up and went to the bathroom and opened the door. Peering in she saw him bending over on the toilet trying to put on a condom.
She giggled, “Honey what are you doing? I’m 86 years old and can’t get pregnant anymore.”
He looked up at her and said, “I know but honey you know how dampness affects my arthritis.”
The family gathering was a bit smaller than usual this year. Not because of Covid, but because they could not make it for other personal reasons. It also felt like something was off, more tense, quiet, and perfunctory. The food was excellent, and the weather was beyond perfect, but still something was off.
It will be a couple months before I see them all again. Perhaps by then things will start to seem more normal... whatever normal may be.
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