Fingering the Floozy

A guy was on his first date with a notoriously loose girl.

She was very receptive to his advances after they parked, and as the petting increased he put his hand in her panties.

At first she seemed to be enjoying his progress, but suddenly cried, “Ouch! Your ring is hurting me!”

“I’m not wearing a ring,” the man sheepishly admitted. “That’s my Timex.”

Describe Your Mom as a Bird

The teacher announced, “The topic of the day is describe your mother to me as a bird, and tell me why.”

She left the kiddies for a short while and then asked them their answers.

Kelly at the front went first, “My Mummy’s like a swan, because she’s white and elegant”

“Thank you Kelly” says teacher, and she continued going around the class.

Bobby said “My Mummy’s like a stork, cos she has babies and babies, and I have 7 brothers and 3 sisters.”

“Thank you Bobby,” said the teacher, and continued with the other students.

Finally there is no-one left but Little Johnny, so the teacher finally asked him, “Johnny, what bird most resembles your mother?”

Little Johnny piped up with “A thrush!”

The teacher, thinking she may finally have a decent answer asked, “Why is that?”

Little Johnny replied, “Because she’s an irritating bitch!”

Met at the Brothel

Scott was lamenting to the bartender that he met his wife in a brothel.

“You shouldn’t be so unhappy about it,” the barkeep said, “It’s actually kind of romantic.”

“Oh, yeah?” responded Scott. “Well, I thought she was home taking care of the kids and she thought I was bowling. And to clinch it all, the madame wouldn’t give me my money back and refused to give me another girl.”

Sunday, January 28, 2018

Moving Right Along

So “Art Evolution” is the way an artist’s work changes over time. Back in 2004 I drew stick figures, but that evolved. By the end of the first year, you couldn’t really call them stick figures anymore. The characters were still very rudimentary until the seventh year when the limbs tapered and I started drawing hands. In 2011 I started using a 3D engine to create the backgrounds, or as I call them: “sets”. A lot has changed, but my characters are easily recognizable from their humble beginnings.

Yesterday’s comic featured Alexis and Birdie. I remember the first time I showed those characters to one of my coworkers. She laughed at my comical attempts to put boobs on a stick figure. Later on when I tried to make actual characters, their breasts ended up looking like a couple of gumdrops stuck on a male torso. I’m actually pretty embarrassed even looking at those old designs. I mean, what was I thinking?

Today their bosoms look like they were illustrated by a person who’s actually seen a woman, and just this past week I finally finished upgrading their templates. (Yes, I make and use character templates. Don’t judge me!) At one point I made a test image of Birdie in a skirt. She looked very neat and feminine. I almost wept.

In the past I’ve avoided including the females in the story because they are inherently more difficult to depict. With my latest technique, I hope to put more of that reluctance behind me. Don’t hold me to it, but maybe in a year or two, I might even introduce a few more female characters.

My art evolution has been slow, but that’s OK with me. Now if only my humor and script writing abilities could improve as much, then this comic might be as good as “Gamer Chicks”. I know it’s a pretty lofty goal, but I’ve failed enough in the past that failure doesn’t really bother me anymore. It’s the “not trying” aspect that really gets to me.