Sunday, December 31, 2017

My Last Post for 2017

Somehow I made it. The year 2018. Is there anything special about this year? Not really. Although it will be the tenth year that I’ve been using a Content Manager for this website… Still, not really that important.

The amazing thing about it is that it’s really getting up there. We are only a couple of decades away from realizing a new era of existence. Once that is achieved, all that is around you now will be gone. A new world formed. Consciousness will evolve, and life will gain new meaning.

Look, I know it doesn’t make sense to you now. It doesn’t make sense to me either. The future is going to be fantastic. A little scary perhaps, but fantastic nevertheless. You only need to hang on a bit longer, so take care of yourself.

Of course it’s not all going to be joy and happiness. The worst part is not being able to bring everyone along. Some will get left behind. Too many friends and loved ones won’t make it. Even enhanced enlightenment can’t salve that kind of grief.

But still our future is nearly here, and we just need to be patient while we work towards that more perfect tomorrow.

Happy New Year


A Job at the Zoo

An out of work mime went to the zoo in an attempt to earn money performing his street act. As soon as he started drawing a crowd, the zoo keeper grabbed him and dragged him into his office.

The zoo keeper explained to the mime that the zoo’s most popular attraction, a gorilla, had died suddenly and the keeper feared that attendance at the zoo would fall off. He offered the mime a job to dress up as the gorilla until they could get another one, and the mime accepted the offer.

The next morning the mime put on the gorilla suit and entered the cage. He suddenly realized what a great job it was. He could sleep all he wanted, play and make fun of people. He was even drawing bigger crowds than he ever did as a mime.

Eventually the crowds grew tired of him. He noticed that the people were paying more attention to the lion in the cage next to his. Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience, he climbed to the top of his cage, crawled across a partition, and dangled from the top to the lion’s cage. Of course, this made the lion furious, but the crowd loved it.

At the end of the day the zoo keeper came and gave the mime a raise for being such a good attraction as a gorilla. So day after day the mime kept taunting the lion, the crowds grow larger, and his salary kept going up.

Then one day he was dangling over the lion and slipped. He fell to the ground and was terrified. The lion prepared to pounce, so the mime started to run round and round the cage with the lion close behind.

The mime was so scared he started screaming and yelling, “Help, Help me!”

The lion quickly pounced onto the mime. The mime found himself flat on his back looking up at the angry lion.

Just then the lion spoke, “Shut up you idiot, or you’ll get us both fired!”

Poisonous Snakes

Two snakes were out taking a stroll when one turns to the other and asks, “Are we poisonous?”

“Why yes we are,” says the second.

Again the first snake asks, “Are you sure we’re poisonous?”

“Yes, we are very poisonous.”

Again the snake asked, “Are we really, really poisonous?”

“Yes, we are really really poisonous. In fact we’re the most poisonous snakes in the world. Why do you ask?”

“I just bit my lip!”

The Lawyer’s Plumber

After finding a leak in the bathroom, the lawyer’s secretary called the plumber, who fixed it in a matter of minutes.

The bill, however, was substantial. So substantial that the lawyer called to complain. “You weren’t here for more than ten minutes,” he said, “and I don’t charge that much for an hour.”

“I know,” retorted the plumber sympathetically, “and I didn’t either, when I was a lawyer.”