Russ and Sam met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels, and discuss world problems.
One day Russ didn’t show up. More days passed and still no Russ. Knowing that Russ was in his late eighties, Sam had started to assume the worst.
After a month had gone by, Russ finally showed up.
“What happened to you?” Sam asked.
Russ replied, “I’ve been in jail.”
“For what?” Sam asked incredulously.
Russ explained, “You know that cute little blonde waitress down at the coffee shop? Well, the little gold-digger figured I was rich, and she tried filing rape charges against me to scam me outa my money.”
“So what happened?”
“At 89 years old, I was so proud that I plead guilty,” said Russ. “The judge gave me 30 days for perjury.”