Board of Director’s Meeting

All the members of the company’s Board of Directors were called into the Chairman’s office, one after another, until only Ted, the junior member, was left sitting outside.

Finally it was his turn to be summoned.

Ted entered the office to find the Chairman and the other four Directors seated at the far end of the boardroom table. Ted was instructed to stand at the other end of the table, which he did.

The Chairman looked Ted squarely in the eye, and with a stern voice, he asked, “Have
you ever had sex with my secretary, Miss Foyt?”

“Oh,no, sir, positively not!” Ted replied.

“Are you absolutely sure?” asked the chairman.

“Honest, I’ve never been close enough to even touch her!”

“You’d swear to that?”

“Yes, I swear I’ve never had sex with Miss Foyt, anytime, anywhere,” insisted Ted.

“Good. Then YOU fire her.”

A Matter of Life and Death

A police officer pulled a man over for speeding.

As the officer approached the car he could see that the man was very anxious about something.

“Good afternoon, Sir. Do you know why I stopped you?”

“Yes, officer. I know I was speeding, but it is a matter of life or death.”

“Oh, really? How’s that?”

“There’s a naked woman waiting for me at home.”

“I don’t see how that is a matter of life or death.”

“If I don’t get home before my wife does, I’m a dead man!”

A Prescription for Viagra

A man got a prescription for Viagra, and went home to get ready for when his wife got home.

He called her on the phone, and she told him, “I’ll be home in half an hour.”

This was perfect for the man because the Doctor told him to take his Viagra half an hour beforehand. He took the Viagra and waited.

The half hour went by, the man was ready to go, but his wife was a no show. He called her cellphone and she informed him, “Traffic is terrible. I won’t be there for another hour and a half.”

Out of frustration, the man called his doctor for advice.

The Doctor replied, “I suppose it would be a shame to waste it. Is your housekeeper around?”

“Yes, she is.” the man replied.

“Well, maybe you could occupy yourself with her instead?” said the Doctor.

A bit dismayed, the man replied, “But I don’t need Viagra with the housekeeper.”

Sunday, July 23, 2017

Migraine Weekend

Saturday, about noon, I started getting a migraine again. I was in the middle of developing some new stuff for the comic when it hit. Needless to say, I never got done with my comic development that evening. I did finish it tonight though, and while I can still feel a residual dull ache, the migraine has subsided enough that I can at least function around the house.

So basically the whole weekend was shot. Didn’t go anywhere or do anything. For all I know (or care) the tomatoes all dried up and died. But sometimes you need that downtime. It helps to have that break in your day to day life. a couple of days where nothing gets done or matters.

Actually I do have some happy news. I got a promotion at work, and I start tomorrow in mold set up. Having a couple days of downtime to calibrate my focus might just be a good thing too.