Sunday, March 31, 2019

Busy, Busy, Busy.

I’ve always been more of a solitary person who enjoys his personal space, but people keep tapping me on my shoulder every 5 minutes, and I feel like I’m gonna scream! Why do they always come to me? Why can’t they bother the other group leaders?

Things at work have been a little crazy, and this coming week is expected to go from crazy to bonkers when I’ll be the only group leader on my side of the factory. Thankfully, I’ll be taking a 4 day weekend after this, so maybe I’ll be able to regain some of my composure.

Even though all this work is driving me insane, I’m going to take all the overtime I can get right now, because I need to toss in a little extra to my savings for a rainy day fund. It’s nice paying cash for everything while watching your bank balance grow. I almost feel like an adult.

Of course I’m not stupid. It’s always easy come, easy go. The universe can sense when you’ve got your head above water and that’s when things tend to break down and need repairs, or you have to pay extra fees, or the the world decides it’s a nice time for the apocalypse. The rain never stops in my neighborhood.


Forgotten Kudos

Last week I forgot to put the kudos in at the end of my rant. Didn’t even notice it until Friday. It was darkmare and George who contributed the jokes. Thanks guys.


Kudos

I’m not going to forget to give thanks this week. Thanks goes out to George, darkmare, and even “The Oldest Rater” who also contributed to this week’s daily jokes. With me being so busy of late, it’s a godsend to have so much help. Just a reminder, our submission page, is always accepting contributions, and if you’d prefer to send me jokes the old fashioned way, my e-mail address is flush2x@gmail.com. Thank you all so much!

Pax,

-f2x


Addendum

So you may have noticed the stars slowly fading away… Well now they’re gone. Good riddance. Bye bye. I was sick of looking at them.

Instead, you may now “like” or “dislike” to your heart’s content. Go ahead. You won’t hurt my feelings if you dislike a joke. You probably won’t hurt George’s feelings either, since he’s never actually seen this site.

Honestly, I’m not even really sure why anyone should bother liking or disliking things. It’s not like it will affect the quality of future jokes. It won’t tell you which jokes are the funniest either. As far as I can tell, it’s just something to play with when you get bored… reading jokes. (Oh god, that sounds depressing… Would you care for some Paxil?)

So there you go. I finally got around to hatching my evil scheme. It’s a simpler up/down vote system, just like you see on every other platform out there.

Enjoy.

The New Pizza Delivery Boy

A new pizza delivery boy knocked on the door of his first customer’s home. After receiving the pizza, the customer asked, “So what’s the usual tip?”

“Well,” replied the youth, “this is my night on the job, but the other guys said if I get a quarter out of you, I’ll be doing great.”

“Is that so?” snorted the customer. “Well, just to show them how wrong they are, here’s five dollars.”

“Thanks,” replied the delivery boy, “I’ll put this in my school fund.”

“What are you studying in school?” asked the customer.

The lad smiled and said, “Applied psychology.”

The Lord Will Provide

A young woman brought her fiancée home to have dinner with her parents. After the meal, the mother told her husband to find out more about the young man.

The father invited the fiancée into the library for a drink. “So what are your plans?” the father asked the young man.

“I am attending Bible university to get a degree in Bible studies,” he explained.

“A Bible scholar?” remarked the father. “That’s admirable, but what will you do to provide for my daughter in the manner in which she is accustomed?”

“I will study,” the young man said, “and the Lord will provide for us.”

“And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring, such as she deserves?” asked the father.

“I will concentrate on my studies,” the young man replied. “The Lord will provide for us.”

“And children?” asked the father. “How will you support children?”

“Don’t worry, sir, the Lord will provide,” replied the fiancée.

The conversation continued like this, and each time the father questioned, the young idealist insisted that the Lord would provide.

Later, the mother asked, “How did it go, Honey?”

“He has no job and no plans,” the father answered, “but the good news is he thinks I’m God.”

School Boy Squawk

Little Jeffy hated school. As his mother drove him to school one Monday morning, he tried every excuse to get out of going.

The crying and whining built to a crescendo. At her wits’ end, the mother stopped the car and explained, “Honey, it’s a law. If you don’t go to school, they’ll put Mommy in jail.”

With a sad pout, little Jeffy looked at his mother and thought a moment before asking, “How long would you have to stay?”