Monthly Archives: May 2017

A 107-year-old woman was asked by a television crew what was the secret of her longevity.

“I’m not sure but I think it has something to do with the fact that I gave up sex,” she said.

“Oh! When did you give up sex?” asked the intrigued reporter.

She thought for a minute and said, “Oh I imagine it’s been fifteen to twenty years ago I suppose.”

“I see,” said the reporter. “And why did you give up sex?”

“I had to,” she replied. “I like older men, and there just weren’t any left!”

One day, little Mikey came home from kindergarten for lunch.

Not finding his mother in the kitchen or the living room, he headed upstairs to check her bedroom.

He opened the door, and saw his father stripped naked on top of his mother heavily into the act of lovemaking.

Not wanting to traumatize the boy, the parents continued as if nothing was wrong.

Mikey watched for a moment and asked, “Daddy, can I climb on and have a horsey ride?”

Still not wanting to traumatize the boy the father said, “Of course, Son, we’re a family.”

So Mikey climbed on top and after a few more minutes his mother started moaning and writhing wildly.

“Hang on Dad!”, cried Mikey. “This is where me and the mailman usually fall off!”

The husband came home from work one day to find his wife had disappeared.

He got very worried and gathered up all his friends to search for her with no success.

Two days later the man returned home to find her in the kitchen.

He asked her what happened and why she hasn’t been home for so long.

She replied, “These four men kidnapped and had wild sex with me for a week.”

The shaken husband tried to wrap his head around what she was telling him and asked, “It’s only been two days, so what do you mean when you say a week?”

“Well I just stopped by to get something to eat before I went back.”

A man called home to his wife and said, “Honey I have been asked to fly to Canada with my boss and several of his friends for fishing. We’ll be gone for a Long weekend. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I’ve been wanting so could you please pack enough clothes for a 3 day weekend, and get out my rod and tackle box from the attic? We’re leaving at 4:30 pm from the office, so I’ll swing by the house to pick up my things. Oh! And please pack my new navy blue silk pajamas.”

The wife thought something about this sounded a bit fishy, but being the good wife, she did exactly what her husband asked.

Following the long weekend he came home a little tired, but otherwise looking good. The wife welcomed him warmly and asked if he caught many fish.

“Oh yes! Lots of Walleye, some Bass, and a few Pike,” said the husband. Then he abruptly changed the subject and asked, “But why didn’t you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked you to?”

“I did,” she replied in an icy tone. “They were in your tackle box.”

A woman was patiently waiting in the emergency room.

The doctor walked in and asked her “So what kind of problem are you experiencing today?”

“Doctor,” the lady began, “I have been having trouble with my bottom. It’s been hurting really bad.”

“Why don’t you lay on your stomach so I can take a look at it,” the doctor requested.

So, the woman turned over and the doctor started to examine her rear end.

After a moment, the doctor asked the young lady, “Ma’am, have you had anal sex lately?”

“No, why?” came the worried response.

The doctor raised an eyebrow and asked, “Would you like to?”

A sweet, beautiful young would-be starlet went to Hollywood to seek her fortune.

At her first power cocktail party she asked the host, “Who’s the most powerful man in the room?”

“That would be Bob, over there by the caviar,” he said.

The young woman walked over to Bob and said, “Excuse me, Bob, would you mind stepping back behind this column? I’d like to talk to you.”

As Bob and the girl stepped behind the column, she said, “Bob, I’m gonna unzip your fly, take out your cock, and give you the best blowjob you ever had!”

Bob smiled slightly and said, “Well, OK. But what’s in it for me?”