Author Archives: f2x

Corona Killed My Job

I just got the call from H.R. today. Because of the new epidemic edict in Ohio, the company that I work for is officially closed until further notice.

Lovely.

Now that I’m stuck at home for however long “they” decide, I might as well take the opportunity to catch up on some much needed sleep. Afterwards, I might try to fix the storm door my dog destroyed. Of course at no time will I be working to make improvements to this website since I will never have enough time for that.

The good news is, we’re allowed out of the house to go to the store, walk the dog, and scare the shit out of old people with a couple of coughs. I know one woman who is spraying the inside of her house with ― now get this ― rubbing alcohol… and she’s the only person in her house! She’s terrified the virus going to jump on her if she goes outside. The paranoia is surreal. The whole thing is surreal. Salvador Dali is surreal, but the shit going on right now makes his work seem less unnerving and illogical than the world around me at this time.

The governor of Ohio has given us the order to stay in our homes until April 6^th. I’m an introvert, so that part should be fairly easy for me. The hard part is getting my unemployment pay since the website isn’t working properly. Managing my finances during this time is going to really suck.

Update 3/23/2020

It looks like my time off has been cut short. Somehow my job has been declared essential, and I go back to work tomorrow. This is a great relief for me since it is impossible to actually file for unemployment at this time (the website is broken), and there are no physical offices open for this purpose anymore. My employer’s payroll system is a far faster and more reliable way to make a buck!

H.R. actually emailed me some papers they said I should keep on me when traveling to and from work. Are you shitting me? They’re pulling a “Papers, Please” in the good ol’ US of A? That’s beyond fucked up! Of course I opened the pdf file and it was just a copy of Ohio’s “Stay at home order” with certain lines highlighted. I might as well carry a piece of paper that says, “I can do what I want.” But then that already sums up my philosophy on life anyway.

Stay strong, wash your hands, and social distance not because they told you to, but because everybody sucks. Be safe out there.

Kudos

Neither Glenn nor George are currently affected by CoVid 19. On the other hand, the jokes they’ve been sending me should probably be quarantined. Nevertheless, I’m presenting them here. If you would like to donate a joke, head over to our submission page or send it by email to flush2x@gmail.com. All jokes are tax deductible, and make great substitutes for toilet paper.

“There is only one difference between a madman and me. The madman thinks he is sane. I know I am mad.” ― Salvador Dali

Pax,

-f2x

So When Do We Panic?

Of course no one really knows how fucked up things are going to get, but I’m not planning on getting too flustered over it. I’m already an introvert, so it’s not like you have to tell me to avoid other people.

Of course COVID-19 is on tour, and it’s coming to a town near you. Apparently the symptoms range from nothing at all to death. That’s quite a spread, and that’s why some people believe it’s a hoax conjured by the “dems”, and others are freaking out and buying all the hand sanitizer and Charmin in the tri-state area.

Honestly, I could really do without all the drama. I still have to go to work in the morning, and the vast majority of people around me are not about to shelter in place when their job is on the line.

I foresee three possible futures: The first is where a whole bunch of people get sick and die. In the end, the survivors will be mostly immune, and we will pick up the pieces and carry on.

The second is that this will all blow over, and while a few people may get really sick and die, it’s probably nobody you know. The “Told-you-so” pundits will crow about it until you wish the virus had taken you.

The third outcome is a bit more complicated. They’re going to milk this. It’s going to be like “Nine-Eleven” in slow motion, only this time the terrorists will be people who refuse to comply with the draconian edicts imposed by the government. Imagine the TV show “COPS”, but busting people for being outdoors without a hazmat suit and shooting suspects for coughing in public.

The “shit show” is about to begin.

Kudos

Well thankfully George and Glenn are still alive and sending me jokes via email. Our submission page remains open in spite of the social distancing, and as always you can email me at flush2x@gmail.com.

If a Black Death could be spread throughout the world once in every generation survivors could procreate freely without making the world too full. ― Bertrand Russell

Pax,

-f2x