A Jewish boy was walking with his girlfriend on the grounds of his father’s house.
His father was a successful doctor, and was carrying out a circumcision in the on-site surgery.
As they were walking, they heard a scream and a foreskin flew out of the window, landing at the girl’s feet.
“What’s that?” she asked.
“Taste it,” he replied, “If you like it, I’ll give you a whole one!”
I’m having what you might call a tantrum with regards to the search engines at the moment. I’ve already blocked most of the crawlers out there, and this past week I went and axed Bing, Yahoo, and the almighty Google.
And a couple days later I let Google back on.
Interestingly the moment I blocked those guys, the Ginger Jokes immediately stopped getting hits, but for some reason Bing is still referring people to images that aren’t even here.
So this past week has been really rough… My civilian job truly sucks, and I’ve been working so much overtime I really haven’t had time to work on lining up any jokes. Please accept my humble apologies if the jokes are lame or missing this week.
Pax,
-f2x
A race car driver took one of his adoring female fans out to the bar. They had a few drinks and he took her back to his place. After a round of passionate sex, he fell asleep only to be awakened suddenly when she smacked him in the face.
“What’s the matter? Didn’t I satisfy you?” he asked.
“It was after you fell asleep that got you into trouble,” said the angry woman. “In your sleep, you felt my breasts and mumbled, ‘What perfect headlights.’ Then you felt my thighs and murmured, ‘What a smooth finish.'”
“What’s wrong with that?” asked the driver.
“Nothing, but then you felt my crotch and yelled, ‘Who the hell left the garage door open?'”
A lesbian walked into a house of ill repute.
She asked the madam for the youngest harlot in the joint.
The madam replied that she will not allow the woman to have her youngest strumpet.
The lesbian was not dissuaded as she demanded, “I want your youngest girl!”
The madam was firm, and denied her again.
“Well, why not?” she asked.
With a smirk, the madam replied, “Everyone knows you can’t serve a minor to any licker.”
Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car which said: “Two Prostitutes – $50.00”
A policeman, seeing the sign, stopped them and told them they’d either have to remove the sign or go to jail.
At that very moment, another car passed with a sign saying: “JESUS SAVES.”
One of the girls asked the officer, “How come you don’t stop them?”
“Well, that’s a little different,” the officer explained, “Their sign pertains to religion.”
The following day the officer noticed the same two hookers driving around with another large sign on their car. He figured he had an easy arrest until he read their new sign: “Two Fallen Angels Seeking Peter – $50.00”
A stressed out Priest who went to the Doctor in a panic.
“Doctor,” pleaded the padre, “When I go to pee it burns like the fire of Satan, and I have this god awful drip. What does this mean?”
The doc wryly smiled and said, “It means the altar boy wasn’t a virgin.”
A young lady made her first appointment with a gynecologist and told him that she and her husband wished to start a family.
“We’ve been trying for months now, Doctor, and I don’t seem to be able to get pregnant,” she confessed miserably.
“I’m sure we’ll solve your problem,” the doctor reassured her. “If you’ll just take off your underpants and get up on the examining table…”
“Well, all right, Doctor,” agreed the young woman, blushing, “but I’d rather have my husband’s baby.”
This is great. Usually I have to write this stuff on Sunday, but thanks to the miracles of content management systems, I can write it ahead of time and schedule it.
We got another week’s worth of jokes lined up again, and it just occurred to me that there’s a common thread in all of them: Sex.
To be honest, most of the jokes I publish here involve sex. It seems to be a very popular subject in the area of humor.
So if you like sex jokes, you’re gonna like the 18th thru 22nd here on Flush Twice.
Pax,
-f2x
We’re still sticking with the “Dewey Learns to Cook” story arc. I like Chef Demerde. I can relate to his situation. Dewey is an idiot with a lot of erroneous preconceived notions, and Demerde has to teach him the right way to do things.
I’m still working on the “art”… I added a roll of paper towels hanging in the background, and corrected Dewey’s height. Dewey is actually a taller guy. His spiky hair only exaggerates this.
Speaking of hair… It’s like if I have to pick one regret, it’s got to be the Yugi Mutou hairstyles of Dewey and Brandon. I still cannot imagine what they would look like in a 360° rotation. C’est la vie.
A lady goes to her Gynecologist complaining of pain during intercourse.
“Every time I do it doggy style, it hurts terribly!” she exclaimed.
The doctor queried, “Why don’t you use the missionary position?”
“I would,” she pleaded, “but I can’t stand the dog’s breath in my face.”
