Author Archives: f2x

A lady goes to her Gynecologist complaining of pain during intercourse.

“Every time I do it doggy style, it hurts terribly!” she exclaimed.

The doctor queried, “Why don’t you use the missionary position?”

“I would,” she pleaded, “but I can’t stand the dog’s breath in my face.”

A husband and wife were in the bathroom getting ready for work when the husband looked at his wife and said, “I gotta have you!”

He backed her up against the bathroom door, pulled down her panties and ravaged her.

He knew he was doing great because she screamed and wiggled more than she ever had before.

When he finished, he started putting his clothes back on when he noticed his wife still writhing against the door. He said, “That was the best honey. You’ve never moved like that before, you didn’t hurt yourself did you/”

His wife replies, “No, no. I’ll be OK, but could you help me get the doorknob out of my ass?”

A young priest was sent to a very small church in the backwoods of Alaska.

After a couple of years the Bishop decided to pay the priest a visit to see how he was doing.

The priest said that it was a really lonely job and that he didn’t think that he could have made it without his Rosary and two martinis each day.

With that the priest asked the Bishop, “Would you like to have a martini with me?”

The Bishop said, “Yes, that would be nice.”

The young priest turned around and hollered toward the kitchen, “Rosary, would you fix us two martinis please?”

On a pleasant Sunday morning, an elderly couple was attending their usual church services.

About halfway through Margery leaned over to her husband and said, “I just let out a silent fart, Harry. What do you think I should do?”

“Put a new battery in your hearing aid,” Harry replied.

A guy walked into a bar and grill. He sat at the bar and asked the bartender, “How much for a beer?”

The bartender replied “One dollar.”

The customer was completely amazed, so he ordered a beer and then asked the bartender, “Well then how much for a porterhouse steak with side of mashed potatoes, a side salad, and a cheesecake for desert?”

The Bartender replied “Five bucks.”

The guy was still amazed at the incredible deal. After he was done eating his meal, he said, “Wow, this place is amazing. I would like to meet the owner of this place.”

The bartender said, “Oh well, he’s upstairs in his office with my wife.”

The guy asked “What is he doing upstairs in his office with your wife?”

The bartender replied, “The same thing I’m doing to his business”.

One night a little girl walked in on her parents having sex.

The mother was on top, and going up and down on the father. When she sees her daughter looking at them she immediately stops.

“What are you doing, Mommy?” asked the little girl.

Too embarrassed to tell her little girl about sex, the mother made up an answer, “Well, sweetie, sometimes daddy’s tummy gets too big so I have to jump up and down on it to flatten it out.”

The little girl replied, “Well, mommy you really shouldn’t bother with that.”

The confused mother asked, “Why do you say that sweetheart?”

The little girl explained, “Because every time you leave in the morning, the lady next door comes over and blows it back up.”