Gail’s Pic of the Week
Dogs and Cars
When I first brought Gail home from the farm, she threw up on me. For the next several months Gail would just about always get car sick within a mile or two. She was even unsure of how to get into the car, and I had to help her into the vehicle up until a few months ago.
The good news is that Gail is now an old pro at getting into the car. She can even hop up into the Envoy without any trouble. Keep in mind that Gail is only 1 year and 10 months old at this time. I'd say she is doing pretty good for a gal her age.
Practically all dogs love to go for car rides. They love sticking their head out the window, and they love the sights and smells. Even if you are merely going to the store, the dog loves it when you let them tag along for the ride.
Of course some people don't like it when you take your dog out for a ride. They like to point out that the temperature in a car can soar to over 104°F in under 10 minutes even on mildly warm days. And yes, people who leave dogs in hot cars for an extended time should be held accountable, but it's the 21st century you fucking overzealous busybodies.
Whether it is my Leaf or my Envoy, I can leave the AC running while I run into the store. It could be over 90°F outside, and the dog is doing just fine. In fact, my vehicle's AC is probably cooler than my house. I'm cheap, and I keep my home thermostat on 80°F in the summer, meanwhile the car is blowing out an icy blast that can give my cheeks frostbite.
So before you get all judgmental because you see a dog left in a car, take a moment to notice if maybe, just maybe the the car is humming, and that maybe the AC is on, and the dog is fine. Take a moment to check for that before you get all sanctimonious in the parking lot, you attention seeking narcissistic bag of shit.
Once again, thanks to Big D. I really appreciate that you're keeping the jokes queued up for me on the submission page.
The Golden Soapbox
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Flush Twice is a JOTD (Joke of the Day) website. New jokes are published every Monday through Friday (midnight EST). There is also a comic and a personal blog in the sidebar that updates on the weekends. We’ve been operating since May of 2003.
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(Just thought you might like to know.)
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After answering the phone, Father Murphy was surprised to learn he was speaking with an IRS tax auditor.
“This is a church, and we are exempt from paying taxes,” the priest remarked.
“We are not interested your church,” explained the auditor. “One of your parishioners, Harold Bixby, indicated that he gave a $15,000 donation to the church last year. Can you verify if this is the truth?”
The priest smiled and said, “The check hasn’t arrived yet, but I’m sure I’ll have it when I remind dear Harold.”
An old truck driver was eating at a truck stop when three large bikers walked in.
The first biker pushed his cigarette into the old man’s pie and then took a seat at the counter.
The second spit in the old man’s coffee and took a seat at the counter.
The third turned over the old man’s plate and took a seat at the counter.
Without a muttering word, the old man got up from his seat and quietly left the diner.
One of the bikers remarked to the waitress, “Not much of a man, was he!”
The waitress replied, “Not much of a truck driver either. He just drove his semi over your motorcycles!”
Fred noticed his neighbor, Justin, had not been going in to work and decided to mention it to him.
“I got fired,” Justin stated matter-of-factly.
“Fired?” remarked Fred, “Why did they fire you?”
Justin explained, “You know how the boss always stands around watching people but never doing anything?”
Fred chuckled, “Yeah, I know. Did you say something about it, and it pissed him off?”
“Well no,” sighed Justin. “People around the shop started thinking I was the boss.”
While waiting in the reception area of her new dentist, Mary noticed the doctor’s full name. She suddenly realized it was the same name as a boy she went to high school with over 20 years ago.
Of course all those years had taken their toll, because the young boy was now a middle aged man who no longer resembled his younger self.
After the exam, Mary asked him which high school he attended and the year he graduated. He told her and she exclaimed, “I knew it! You were in my class!”
He looked closely at Mary before asking, “What did you teach?”