Sunday, November 24, 2019

My First Turkey!

Though I have never made out a bucket list, there are a few simple things I would like to have done before I leave this earth… And preferably looong before I kick the bucket. This week I finally did something that most people would find to be rather ho-hum.

Meijer had whole turkeys on sale for 33¢/pound, and I was able to pick up a 21 pound bird for $7! Since the generation over me still holds an iron grip on the Thanksgiving gatherings, I’ve never actually had any first hand experience with roasting a turkey.

It may seem odd to you, but roasting a whole turkey has a kind of sacred place among my kinfolk. Surreptitiously preparing your own fowl could merit dirty looks and scorn during family events. In their eyes, turkey should only be prepared by the anointed elders, so this was a rather bold move on my part.

Not really. I’ve been living on my own for my entire adult life, and I’m about a half a century old. I couldn’t give two shits what the family fossils think anymore. But there was still a twinge of angst when I made the decision to prepare my personal poultry.

I loosely followed the instructions given by Chef John from Food Wishes, and wouldn’t you know it: The results looked beautiful! Of course it tasted like turkey, which is nothing to write home about, but “tastes like turkey” is a good indication that my effort was a stunning success.

After letting it rest, I stripped the carcass of all its meat and packed it all in Chinese takeout containers. I then stacked the containers in the fridge. It was a lot of work, but I actually did a pretty good job of carving my first bird too. I even took some to my dad, but the rest will be used for many lunches and dinners as well as occasional dog treats for this week.

Oh, and yeah… I still have to go to the family Thanksgiving for the “official” turkey dinner on Thursday as well. I think I can pull off a look of excitement when the dinner is served so no one will suspect my brazen disregard for family tradition.


So here we go again. We’ve got more jokes this week… Some from George, maybe a joke or two from Glenn, and maybe something I saw on another website. Of couse you could slip in a joke or two by using our submission page or sending them to

“If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.” – Abraham Lincoln



Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Please do not use URL's. Comments with links will not post.
The "Name" field is optional. Feel free to post anonymously.