A Jewish family was most concerned that their 30-year-old son was unmarried. So they called a marriage broker and asked her to find their son a good wife.
The broker came over to their house and spent a long time asking many questions of the son and his parents as to what they wanted in a wife/daughter-in-law. They gave her a long shopping list of requirements.
The marriage broker took a long time looking, and finally asked to visit the family again. She told them of a wonderful woman she had found.
She said she was just the right age for the son, kept a Kosher home, a wonderful cook, loves children, wants a large family, and to crown it all off, she’s gorgeous.
After hearing all this, the family was very impressed and began to get excited about the prospects of a wedding in the near future.
At that point the son asked, “Is she also good in bed?”
“That I’m not sure,” the marriage broker replied. “Some say yes, some say no.”
My family started doing the “Secret Santa” a few years back, and I really dread it. Every Thanksgiving we have to draw names from a hat. I suppose I should be grateful since I only have to buy but one gift. In years past, the gift giving was getting out of hand, so it’s nice that the family elders decided to reign that nonsense in.
But this year I drew my sister-in-law’s name. Why can’t I get an easy one, like one of my aunts or uncles? Up until a few years ago, I’d just ask my mom, but she’s gone now, and I really don’t care to face conundrums like this on my own.
Of course, I want to get her something she would enjoy, but to be honest, I don’t really know what that would be. It doesn’t help that outside of family gatherings, we don’t really have any sort of relationship.
I suppose in times like this it’s best to play it safe. I need a gift that is pleasant, and not controversial. Yes, I’m almost certain that we’re looking at some sort of gift basket for women. Maybe I’ll order something from the Bath and Body Works website. Wish me luck.
The family gathering was a bit smaller than usual this year. Not because of Covid, but because they could not make it for other personal reasons. It also felt like something was off, more tense, quiet, and perfunctory. The food was excellent, and the weather was beyond perfect, but still something was off.
It will be a couple months before I see them all again. Perhaps by then things will start to seem more normal... whatever normal may be.
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