A Jewish family was most concerned that their 30-year-old son was unmarried. So they called a marriage broker and asked her to find their son a good wife.
The broker came over to their house and spent a long time asking many questions of the son and his parents as to what they wanted in a wife/daughter-in-law. They gave her a long shopping list of requirements.
The marriage broker took a long time looking, and finally asked to visit the family again. She told them of a wonderful woman she had found.
She said she was just the right age for the son, kept a Kosher home, a wonderful cook, loves children, wants a large family, and to crown it all off, she’s gorgeous.
After hearing all this, the family was very impressed and began to get excited about the prospects of a wedding in the near future.
At that point the son asked, “Is she also good in bed?”
“That I’m not sure,” the marriage broker replied. “Some say yes, some say no.”
My family started doing the “Secret Santa” a few years back, and I really dread it. Every Thanksgiving we have to draw names from a hat. I suppose I should be grateful since I only have to buy but one gift. In years past, the gift giving was getting out of hand, so it’s nice that the family elders decided to reign that nonsense in.
But this year I drew my sister-in-law’s name. Why can’t I get an easy one, like one of my aunts or uncles? Up until a few years ago, I’d just ask my mom, but she’s gone now, and I really don’t care to face conundrums like this on my own.
Of course, I want to get her something she would enjoy, but to be honest, I don’t really know what that would be. It doesn’t help that outside of family gatherings, we don’t really have any sort of relationship.
I suppose in times like this it’s best to play it safe. I need a gift that is pleasant, and not controversial. Yes, I’m almost certain that we’re looking at some sort of gift basket for women. Maybe I’ll order something from the Bath and Body Works website. Wish me luck.
As the pandemic continues to spread throughout the ranks of the willfully ignorant, my smile is only diminished by the fact that the vast majority will survive. In any event, a certain demographic has lost its members in record numbers, and nearly everyone else is noticeably unsympathetic with that loss.
Currently about 250 people a day are dying from the 'rona in the US. There for a while it got up to almost 4,000 in a single day. All told, nearly 1 in 5,000 Americans have died from the Wuhan flu, which makes me wonder, how are we going to kill the other 4,999?
Obviously you can't kill them with the vaccine. If you count every person who died after taking any of the covid vaccines, and just assume it was the vaccine that did it, the kill ratio is only 1 out of every 56,000 people. And that's about how many people would have been expected to die if there were neither a China Flu nor a vaccine. It looks like if we want to kill more people, we are going to need a lot more stupidity since science has failed us once again.
I just want to acknowledge that Big D threw in a joke that will appear next week. This week's jokes were all stolen from reddit. To keep me honest, you could try using the submission page a little more regularly, but in any event there are going to be jokes here by hook or by crook.
Also, I can't say for certain if there is going to be a comic this coming weekend. I'm going to try, but work might get a little hectic.
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