So a man went to see his doctor about renewing his Viagra prescription.
The doctor asks, “How have you felt since taking Viagra?”
“I’ve felt great! Sex is better than it’s been in years!” responded the man.
“So, you haven’t been suffering from blurred vision?” queried the doc.
“Suffering? Have you seen my wife?”
An elderly man arrives home from bingo and his wife comes running up to him.
“Thank goodness you’re home safe! I was watching the news and apparently a lunatic was driving down the wrong side of the freeway!”
He responds, “A Lunatic? There were hundreds of them!”
A single mother opted to have a caesarean section when she found out she was having twins. Unfortunately there was a complication during the procedure and the mother suffered a coma for nearly three months. When she finally came to, she immediately asked, “My babies… Are they OK?”
“They are just fine,” comforted the nurse. “You had a beautiful little girl and a handsome little boy.”
“Wonderful! But I hadn’t thought of what to name them yet,” replied the new mom.
“Well your brother was here, and he already provided us with the names,” stated the nurse.
“W-w-what?! My idiot brother named my children?!” cried the mother. “What did he name them?”
“Well,” continued the nurse, “the little girl is named Denise…”
“Denise? You know I kind of like that name… It’s pretty,” the mother cooed as she softened up.
“And the boy is named, De-Nephew.”
A bear and a hare were pooping next to each other in the woods.
The bear looked over and asked, “Hey, Rabbit. Do you have any trouble with shit sticking to your fur?”
“Why no,” replied the hare, “I don’t have that problem at all.
With that the bear picked up the bunny and wiped his ass.
Two hillbillies were on the front porch swigging their moonshine when a sod truck drove by. “That’s what I’m gonna do when I win the lottery!” shouts the one.
“What? You’re gonna drive a truck?” his buddy replied.
“No you idiot!” retorted the first. “I’m gonna send my lawn out to be mowed.”
It's going to be a while before Gail grows out of her "cute" stage, and I'd rather not limit the "Sunday Rant" to a singular topic. While I suppose featuring a weekly picture of her would be harmless, I would like to move on to other topics.
The trouble is, I can't really think of anything I want to talk about this week. I know what's on my mind, but I know better than to open my mouth on certain subjects... And no, it's not because I fear the PC police... OK, well maybe a little, but actually it is because when you make certain personal views public, that's when people pigeon hole you and say, "that's all this guy is about".
Ooo! Ooo! I know what I'd like to talk about: How come every other webcomic out there is mentioned on either Wikipedia or TV Tropes or some other quasi-authoritative medium, but PitP is totally off the radar? How is it that even bad webcomics with only 16 pages created by a 14 year old 7 years ago has third party acknowledgement, but a webcomic that has been active for nearly 16 years is still only vaguely known to exist by a handful of search engines, and then only after you type in some arcane phrase?
On second thought, I'd better not talk about this. I can already feel the pigeon hole closing in, and if anyone ever did review this site and/or comic, whatever they wrote would probably just annoy me.
I should just count obscurity as one of my blessings.
And speaking of obscure blessings, I want to thank ole George and Glenn for continuing to email me jokes. You know, a lot of these jokes are just FWD's that have been handed down from e-mail to e-mail over the years. You can help give these wandering jokes a new home here by copy/pasting the joke on our submission page. You could also forward your FWD's to firstname.lastname@example.org.
“The dog is the most faithful of animals and would be much esteemed were it not so common. Our Lord God has made His greatest gifts the commonest.”
― Martin Luther
Flush Twice is a JOTD (Joke of the Day) website. New jokes are published every Monday through Friday (midnight EST). There is also a comic and a personal blog in the sidebar that updates on the weekends. We’ve been operating since May of 2003.
Jokes are generously provided by friends and visitors such as yourself. If you would like to contribute, please check out our submission page, or e-mail email@example.com. If you know anyone who constantly e-mails you jokes, forward them to us! We’ll take what we can get!
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