The Chicken Farmer

chickA city boy moves to the country and decides he’s going to start farming. He goes to a local hatchery and tells the owner, “Give me 100 baby chickens.”
A week later he returns and says, “Give me 200 baby chickens.”
Again, a week later young man returns. This time he says, “Give me 500 baby chickens.”
“Wow!” the hatchery owner replies. “You must be doing really well.”
“Not really,” said the man with a sigh. “I’m either planting them too deep or too far apart!”

The Ironing Incident

ironOne day an employee came in to work with both of his ears bandaged. When his boss asked him what happened, he explained, “Yesterday I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang and I accidentally answered the iron instead of the phone!”
“Well,” the boss said, “that explains one ear, but what about the other?”
“They called back!”


The New York Turtle

turtleA turtle was walking down the alley in New York City when he was mugged by a gang of snails. A police detective came to investigate the incident and asked the turtle if he could describe his assailants and give his account of what happened.
The poor turtle with a confused look on his face replied, “I don’t know, Detective, it all happened so fast!”


A Brainy Joke

brainA brain and a pair of jumper cables walk into a bar. The brain says, “Can I get a couple of beers from me and my friend here?”
The bartender says, “There’s no way I’m going to serve you.”
“Why not?” asked the brain.
The bartender explained, “Well, you’re clearly out of your head, and your friend looks like he’s about to start something.”