On a whim, Jennifer decided to purchase the flight insurance at the ticket counter. She had some time before her flight’s departure, so she stopped at a Chinese restaurant in the concourse.
Everything seemed well until she read her fortune cookie: “Today’s investment will pay big dividends!”
Upping the Internet Ante
So for the past couple of weeks, you might recall that I was suffering from a mild case of Captain Trips. Suffice to say, I’ve recovered, so let’s move on.
One of my perennial rants is my home internet connection, and there’s been some incremental developments that I thought I would expound upon here today. Back at the end of January, Mint Mobile increased their 10Gb data plan to 12Gb. That’s 12Gb of 4G/LTE data for $25* per month. I use two of those plans for my home internet, so I get 24Gb for $50* per month… Which is less than the non-promotional rate that Spectrum charges ($65.99) for their unbundled 100/10 internet.
(*Full disclosure: To get the $25/month price you actually have to pay for a full year in advance which is really $300/year, and if you get 2 of them, that’s a whopping $600! It’s a bit of a commitment, and honestly I wouldn’t recommend it unless you really hated your landline internet provider.)
Quick backstory: I used to bounce back and forth between DSL and cable whenever they raised prices, and prices ranged between $25 and $50 per month. After the shitheads at Spectrum bought out Time Warner Cable, they jacked up my internet from $40 to $60 per month. They claimed the promotional 12 month rate had passed, but that was a lie. My promotional rate of $30 had run out the prior year.
After canceling Spectrum, I was further shocked to discover that AT&T would no longer allow for new signups for DSL in my neighborhood. Left feeling cornered and violated by a twisted power drunk monopoly, I was forced to tether my mobile phone’s data plan while I sought out possible options.
I ended up buying a T-Mobile hotspot device and plan. It was $50/month for 10Gb of 4G/LTE data. The plan advertised that you would get 3G data after you used up your 4G data, but the store kind of did a bait and switch, and it was really just 2G data speeds, which is highly limited in its usefulness.
Not long after, I discovered Mint Mobile, an MVNO that uses T-Mobile’s network. They offered the same deal but at half the price of T-Mobile, and their SIM card would work in my hotspot device. Fast forward to today, and I’ve got a better hardware setup and 2 Mint Mobile SIM cards that get rotated every 15 days.
How’s the speed? Not bad. Online bandwidth tests are unreliable for mobile data, but I can easily watch 1080p videos with no buffering. I’m guessing it varies between 15 to 45Mbps. The bigger problem is things using up bandwidth when I don’t want it to. I’m paying for each Gigabyte, so speed is NOT a problem. The data plan limit— that’s still the biggest problem.
One of the most important things you have to do is to find and use every trick in the book that minimizes data usage, and that can take some getting used to. I’m talking about watching YouTube videos at 240p, using Chrome’s “Data Saver” feature, using ad blockers, video blockers, and realizing that some sites just aren’t worth it. If you can’t budget very well, this is not the plan for you.
I also look to augment my data whenever possible. Mint occasionally has these promotions where you can get 3 months of their 8Gb plan for just $20. That’s an extra 8Gb/month at 84¢/Gb! Woohoo! I bought one last December, and I just got another one Thursday. When they’re used up, I just toss’em out.
Weirdest quirk— Mint Mobile’s IP addresses default to locating me in Philadelphia even though I live in Dayton. Online shopping and search results that localize their content frequently show me non relevant results, and sadly, YouTube TV won’t let me sign up for their service until I “get home”.
What about reliability? I realize that the T-Mobile network is frequently criticized for not having the best coverage, but I have a connection that has proven itself to be incredibly stable and reliable. I’ve got a computer, a netbook, 6 smart bulbs, 2 echo dots, and a cellphone. None of them ever complain about their connection.
What’s the biggest inconvenience? Mint Mobile 4g/LTE plans only go up to 12Gb/month. If you need more data, you could pay them $20 for a 3Gb extension which is crazy-expensive, or you could buy a separate plan and swap out the SIM cards like I do.
Swapping the cards isn’t exactly hard, but it’s not particularly convenient either, and while my modem doesn’t seem to mind the frequent swaps, its obvious that frequent swapping was never the intent of the design. I’m currently on the lookout for a better system, but honestly I just wish that Mint Mobile would provide higher data plans or allow users to share their data plans among multiple SIMs.
So for right now, it would seem that $2.08/Gb is the cheapest LTE data that doesn’t require a contract, restrict how you use it, or force you to buy into “family plans”. Let me know in the comments below if there are any other deals that I should be aware of because I believe people need alternatives to the price gouging monopolies that Americans are forced to contend with.
One last note: All of Mint Mobile’s plans are technically “unlimited”. After you use up the 4G/LTE data, your internet speed drops down to 2G speed which is a hard maximum of 128kbps. It’s hit or miss as to whether or not a website is usable at that speed. Sites like Flush Twice will still load just fine, but the moment any site tries to use audio or video, you might as well hang it up.
Hey, I hope you found this week’s “rant” interesting. While I always manage to put something up here every week, I actually put some effort into this one. Oh, and Spectrum, if you’re reading this: Go fuck yourselves you price jacking fuckers, and you can shove your overpriced “bundles” up your arseholes too.
Kudos
We have new jokes this week thanks to George and darkmare. Their selfless contributions lead to your laughter. You could be a part of our contributing team by using our submission page, or e-mail jokes to flush2x@gmail.com. Have a great week!
Pax,
-f2x
An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. “You don’t want to try these techniques at home.”
“Why not?” asked an attendee.
“I watched my wife’s routine at making breakfast for years,” the expert explained. “She made lots of trips between the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying a single item at a time. One day I told her, ‘Hon, why don’t you try carrying multiple things at once?'”
“Did it save time?” the attendee asked.
“Actually, yes,” replied the expert. “It used to take her 20 minutes to make breakfast. Now I do it in seven.”
A recently retired couple in their late 60’s were visited by a magic fairy who granted them each one wish.
“I want to travel around the world with my husband”, said the wife.
Just then two tickets for a luxury cruise magically appeared in her hand.
With a daring grin, the husband said, “I wish my wife was 30 years younger than me.”
And with that, the magic fairy waved her wand and transformed the husband into a 97 year old man.
A lost hunter out in the wilds stumbled into a camp. “Am I glad to see you!” he said. “I’ve been lost for three days.”
“Don’t get too excited, friend,” the other hunter replied. “I’ve been lost for three weeks.”
Little Bobby was excited about his first day at school, but only a few minutes after class started, he realized that he desperately needed to go to the bathroom. So he raised his hand politely to ask if he could be excused.
The teacher said yes, and asked him to be quick. Five minutes later he returned, looking more desperate and embarrassed. “I can’t find it”, he cried.
The teacher drew him a little map of where he should go and asked him if he will be able to find it now. The boy looked at the paper and said “I think so.” and went on his way.
Five minutes later he returned to the class room and said, “I still can’t find it.”
Frustrated, the teacher asked Little Johnny to help him, so the two boys went together. Five minutes later they both return and sat down at their seats.
The teacher asked Johnny, “Well, did you help him find it?”
Johnny was quick to reply, “Oh sure. Bobby just had his boxer shorts on backwards.”
Jeffrey died and went to hell. Once there, he found that there was a different hell representing every country. He decided to seek out the least painful one.
At the door to German Hell, he was told: “First we put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then we lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day.”
Jeffrey did not like the sound of that, so he checked out the American Hell, Russian Hell and many more. They were all similarly themed with electric chairs, nail beds, and whipping.
However, when he came to the Italian Hell, there was a long line of people waiting to get in. Amazed, he asked, “What do they do here?”
The doorman explained, “First we put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then we lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Italian devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day.”
“But that’s the same as the others!” exclaimed Jeffrey. “Why are so many people waiting to get in?”
“Because of the power cuts, the electric chair does not work. The nails were paid for but never supplied, which makes the bed comfortable. And the Italian devil used to be a civil servant, so he comes in, signs his time sheet and goes back home for private business.”
And Then Things Got Worse
I had to go to the doctor’s to be put on a nebulizer this past week. While I’m starting to move towards recovery, my bronchitis has been particularly nasty. It was trying to turn into pneumonia, which is basically a death sentence to a fat middle aged guy like me.
So will I live? Hell, I don’t know. My shits still all fucked up, and it hurts to inhale. I’ve coughed so much, it damaged my lungs, and now I’m coughing up foam. Google it. It’s not a good sign.
Any good news? Well, you’ll get five new jokes this week. I’d say that’s some pretty good news. Other than that… No.
Kudos
Of course daily jokes would either suck or not exist if it weren’t for contributors like George and darkmare. Thanks for sending the jokes. If you’re a fan of this site and would like to help out, please send jokes to our submission page, or drop me an e-mail at flush2x@gmail.com. Thanks for being awesome!
Pax,
-f2x
