Author Archives: f2x

Damn You, Costco

I have a serious food addiction right now, and Ohio is just about the worst place on Earth to try to lose weight. I have enough food in the freezer to last half a year, but I’ll be back at the store to stock up again at the end of September. Currently I have around 8 pounds of cheese, over 15 pounds of meats, loads of frozen vegetables, and a pantry so full, there are boxes of staples on top of the cabinets. Did I mention the candy bars?

The thing is, I have to lose weight. It is affecting my ability to freely move. I cannot breath while I am tying my shoes, I practically have to dislocate my shoulder to wipe my ass, and I am no longer feeling sassy. I fear that if I do not do something soon, it may have negative consequences on my ability to do my job.

Of course once you get this far, “eat less and exercise” is not going to work. It is like being so far in debt that you can’t afford the minimum payment due. If I am to win this battle, I am going to need help.

Wish me luck.

Kudos

Glenn is off this week, so it is just George’s jokes and what I could scrounge up from the net. If you like, you could send a joke or two to our submission page. I also take submissions via flush2x@gmail.com.

“Curiosity kills boredom. Nothing can kill curiosity.”

Pax,

-f2x

Got Promoted (for real this time)!

This isn’t really a rant, but I thought I’d crow about it here. They finally posted a lead position at work. Yes, I had to apply for it. It was just a formality. They opened a lead position, I filled out the paperwork, and now I’ve got my own desk!

My employer had been testing me in various lead positions for a while, but now this one is an official, bonafide, job title and pay change promotion. I did it, baby! I have arrived!

To be honest, the posting and promotion came a couple weeks ago. I just haven’t gotten around to telling anyone about it yet. I’ve been too busy working. It doesn’t matter how much they promote you, a job is still a job, and there’s never enough time to get it all done.

I’ve had to rearrange the department. The original work flow, was neither working nor flowing. My workers, supervisor, and everyone else who’s seen it, have been somewhat impressed by the changes, so that’s a good thing. I still need to start actually hitting the numbers, but the initial results look very promising, and I’m sure that within a few weeks the production output will grow beyond satisfactory.

Of course I’d love to tell you that I got this job based solely on the fact that I am such a wonderful worker. I’d like to be able to say that I earned this job, because I was the cream of the crop. I’d love to make it seem like out of the dozens of qualified applicants, they picked me! I’d like to say all those thing, but the truth is, they couldn’t really find anyone else who wanted the job.

It’s a dirty job with a lot of heavy lifting and endless paperwork. Being in a lead position means I have to drop everything I’m doing at a moments noticed to help regular production workers get back on track, then try to pick up where I left off. I’m not only responsible for my work, but the work and safety of all those around me as well.

Oh my God… What I have done?

Anyway, it’s official and for keeps this time, and I like having my own desk.

Kudos

This week, I want to thank you, the viewer, for stopping by and laughing along with the jokes and comics. I also want to give thanks to by contributors, Glenn and George, for their help in providing the jokes. Of course anyone can use our submission page or send a jokes to flush2x@gmail.com. Every little bit helps!

Right now, someone you love is thinking about you.

Pax,

-f2x