A new mosquito eliminator just came out on the market that promises to effectively kill 98% of all mosquitoes. It comes as a kit with a bowl of salt, a bowl of tequila, a banana peel, and a rock.
So the idea is, you set out the four objects next to each other. The mosquito will see the salt and think it is sugar. It will fly down and lick the salt making the mosquito thirsty. Then it will see the tequila and think it is water so it will drink the tequila and get drunk. As the mosquito stumbles away, it will slip on the banana peel, fall, and smash its head on the rock.
So during the last fireside chat, I might have given some of you the impression that I don’t like my dog. Well, I do, but with such boundless energy she can be very tiring. I’m getting on in my years, and having a living bouncy ball sap my energy every day is frustrating.
But Gail is my baby girl, and though she often tests my limits, she does have her up sides. Off hand I can’t think of any, but… Oh wait! She does actually settle down, and when I’m sitting on the couch or lying in bed, she is right there snuggled up next to me. She looks at me in such a way as to tell me that I am her everything.
And Gail is still just a pup. Granted, she is an 85 pound musclebound pup, but her brain is still developing. It is always a pleasant surprise when something finally “clicks” in that head of hers, and she learns to control some of the less desirable aspects of her behavior.
Make no mistake, there is a long way to go before Gail is what I would consider a “good” dog, and I have had enough dogs to know the difference. In the meantime, she still gets plenty of toys and treats and belly rubs.
When I first brought Gail home from the farm, she threw up on me. For the next several months Gail would just about always get car sick within a mile or two. She was even unsure of how to get into the car, and I had to help her into the vehicle up until a few months ago.
The good news is that Gail is now an old pro at getting into the car. She can even hop up into the Envoy without any trouble. Keep in mind that Gail is only 1 year and 10 months old at this time. I'd say she is doing pretty good for a gal her age.
Practically all dogs love to go for car rides. They love sticking their head out the window, and they love the sights and smells. Even if you are merely going to the store, the dog loves it when you let them tag along for the ride.
Of course some people don't like it when you take your dog out for a ride. They like to point out that the temperature in a car can soar to over 104°F in under 10 minutes even on mildly warm days. And yes, people who leave dogs in hot cars for an extended time should be held accountable, but it's the 21st century you fucking overzealous busybodies.
Whether it is my Leaf or my Envoy, I can leave the AC running while I run into the store. It could be over 90°F outside, and the dog is doing just fine. In fact, my vehicle's AC is probably cooler than my house. I'm cheap, and I keep my home thermostat on 80°F in the summer, meanwhile the car is blowing out an icy blast that can give my cheeks frostbite.
So before you get all judgmental because you see a dog left in a car, take a moment to notice if maybe, just maybe the the car is humming, and that maybe the AC is on, and the dog is fine. Take a moment to check for that before you get all sanctimonious in the parking lot, you attention seeking narcissistic bag of shit.
Once again, thanks to Big D. I really appreciate that you're keeping the jokes queued up for me on the submission page.
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