A blonde was driving along a lonely country road with fields on either side. As she looked out her side window, she saw another blonde in the middle of a field, in a rowboat, rowing and rowing.
She stopped the car, rolled down the window, and yelled, “You know it’s blondes like you who give the rest of us blondes a bad name!”
“Oh yeah?” the other blonde yelled back. “So whaddya gonna do about it?”
Enraged by this impudence the first blonde screamed, “You’re lucky I can’t swim, or I’d come out there and punch your lights out!”
Happy %^&*ing New Year
Boy, I hope your new year is starting off better than mine. I got the stomach flu, and let me tell you, I feel like crap! Nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, and head and body aches.
Tell ya what… rather than listen to me piss and moan, just check back in a week or so to see if I’m still alive.
Kudos and Promos
Again, the contributor of this week’s jokes is George, a man whom I’ve never met, and I probably never will, but thanks to the wonders of the internet, fate has brought us together. Thanks George. And if you would like to contribute, please visit our submission page, or send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Flush Twice T-Shirts are free! Be the first person to ever ask for one: Gimme my FREE T-Shirt! (Limit one T-Shirt per household, and I reserve the right to refuse your request if I suspect bad faith.)
The phone rang. Angie saw that it was her husband. Todd, and answered the call.
“Sweetheart, I had a really bad accident as I was leaving work,” explained Todd. “Sandra took me to the hospital. After the doctors examined my X-rays, they said it was much worse than they initially thought. I have a cervical dislocation, multiple facial injuries, also, they will have to amputate my right leg.”
Angie took a couple deep breaths to compose herself before she could speak. “Todd,” she said in a concerned tone, “Who the hell is Sandra?”
Margret called her physician’s office to schedule an appointment. The nurse taking the call asked about the nature of the visit.
“I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes,” explained Margret.
“Oh, I see,” replied the Nurse. “Have you already seen the doctor?”
“No,” lamented Margret. “Just spots.”