Gail’s Sunday Pic
Sunday, June 29, 2025
Alex Died on June 19, 2025
I suppose I should start by telling you how it happened. It was an otherwise nondescript day back in February. I went to get out of my rocker-recliner and when I scooched forward to get up, the front armrests bottomed out on the floor as they always do. Unbeknownst to me, Alex just happened to be laying down there that fateful day, and his left arm managed to get pinched.
Of course he yowled the loudest I'd ever heard him yell in his entire life and shot off into the basement. I felt terrible about it, but then I had no way of knowing he was down there when I went to get up. After a short while, Alex came back upstairs, and I was able to check for injury.
Shockingly, there were no broken bones, no blood, and Alex was able to walk just fine. It almost seemed cartoonish at the time, but down the left side of his left arm was a ribbon of flattened fur. He seemed somewhat indifferent to this, and acted like he just wanted to put the whole thing behind him. Seeing as Alex didn't appear to be in immediate danger, I took a "wait and see" position.
Over the next month, the "ribbon" began to shrink inward towards his elbow. I took this as a good sign that his injury was healing naturally and everything would be fine... But things were not fine. After a month and a half, his elbow began to swell. By mid-April I had to take him in to the vet for an exam.
The vet did a fair bit of Hmmm'ing and scrunched her face a lot. She didn't want to poke it with anything for fear it might introduce something. She took some measurements and expressed a "wait and see" attitude. I then scheduled a follow up appointment two months out.
Only a month later in mid-May, the swelling on his elbow had increased to the point that it started to ulcer. I called the vet and got him in immediately. This time they tried to drain it, but it went horribly. After the first stick, Alex started squirting blood all over the place, and the vet and technician freaked out and were running around looking for towels while I had to hold my cat down in a growing pool of his own blood.
After they got things back under control, she tried again with a larger needle, and went in from a different direction. After plunging to the center of the mass, she remarked that it was solid and that the fluid had probably dispersed into the surrounding tissue. She then went on to suggest that it might even be "malignant" and recommended a biopsy. They gave me an estimate for the procedure that ran from $500 to $800. I immediately left and made an appointment with another vet that I had gone to in the past.
The next day, my alternate vet didn't have any good news. By now, Alex's arm was very infected. At first he suggested that the arm would have to come off, but after noting Alex's age, he pulled back and recommended palliative care. I pushed for a quote on the cost of an amputation, and he informed me it would be around $3500 at the lowest, and that at his age, Alex would only live another 6 months after the surgery, and to just stick with palliative care.
They gave Alex a shot of antibiotics, a shot for long term pain management, prednisolone tablets and a liquid antibiotic, along with an appointment to come back about a month later.
Over the memorial day weekend, I cleaned Alex's wound and administered his meds. Alex was still Alex though. He obviously wanted to live, so I began making phone calls. Eventually I got in touch with the Humane Society. It took week and a half to finally get in, but after looking at Alex's arm, their surgeon said that the arm was "not compatible with long term survival" and agreed to amputate it... in two weeks.
That was the longest two weeks of my life.
Every day that thing on his elbow grew bigger and bigger. In the final week, it started to split open. It looked like something out of a horror movie. The outer layer of skin died off and eventually I had to cut the hard chunk of dried flesh off with scissors. Fortunately the antibiotics prescribed by the second vet kept the wound site free from infection.
And through all of this, Alex was still Alex. He just kept on living his life like nothing was wrong. Even with that thing on his arm, he still walked normal, climbed up and down the stairs, jumped on the bed, table, dresser, et cetera. Part of me knew this cat was gonna make it, but part of me was scared that his arm was going to go septic and Alex would die.
I felt relieved on the day of the surgery. We made it through to this day! Alex would be a tripod, but he was going to live! I dropped Alex off at the Human Society and went to work expecting to pick him up between 4:00 pm and 5:00 pm.
My phone rang a little before noon. The voice on the other end informed me that the surgery had gone fine, and they didn't notice anything wrong during the procedure, but in the recovery room, Alex's heart rate began to drop, he went non-responsive, and his pupils dilated. The surgeon explained that sometimes a blood clot will break free during the surgery and make its way into the brain. Alex had had a stroke. There was nothing more they could do.
Moments later, Alex died.
Usually I show off pictures of Gail here, (she's doing find by the way). Gail is a fun dog who loves to constantly run and play, but Alex was the one that I could really count on for affection. He would hop up on my chest when I was resting in my recliner and purr. He would be there at the door to greet me when I came home. He would keep me company when I pooped. He would wake me in the morning, and insist I gave him a thorough petting before I went to sleep at night. He talked to me with his incessant meows, and made sure I never left the house without filling the food and water bowls. Alex loved to get his "full kitty massage" complete with belly rubs, and he was the kind of cat that would walk up and headbutt me to let me know I was his as much as he was mine.
The house feels so empty without him now.
I miss you Alex,
-f2xGET THE PLUNGER!
What is Flush Twice?
Flush Twice has been around since May of 2003. It started out as a JOTD (Joke of the Day) website. New jokes were published every weekday. Over the years, good jokes were increasingly hard to come by, and eventually they got so rare that I just stopped trying to publish them.
Since 2004 there has also been an eponymous comic. I still occasionally publish a new one on Saturdays. It’s also rare anymore, but sometimes it happens.
Here lately I’ve been posting a “Link of the Day”. For the time being, I will be featuring a new website from my enormous collection of bookmarked websites every weekday. None of it is solicited promotions, and no one is paying me to feature their site. These are just websites that at one time I thought were interesting enough to add to my bookmarks folder.
I highly encourage using some kind of ad blocking extension before clicking on any of these links. You’ll also hear me say this phrase a lot about these posts: “They can’t all be winners.” But it’s better than just leaving the site abandoned.
The jokes were generously provided by friends and visitors such as yourself. I want to express my eternal thanks to everyone over the years who helped contribute to the collection.
So what is it that makes a joke funny?
It all boils down to a sudden shift in perception. The story starts you thinking one way, then the punchline turns that thinking on its ear. The art of the joke is to craft a short story that isn’t overly contrived, then deliver a punchline that suddenly shifts your perception about the story you were being told.
Many of the jokes on this site are offensive, and I make no apologies for it. Offensive jokes work by making the reader uncomfortable through the use of a taboo subject thus enhancing the underlying humor. Without the offensive element, the joke would simply not be as funny.
(Just thought you might like to know.)
Yes, it’s a usable search function! Try it!
Monthly Archives: October 2017
Grandma Mom
With the help of a fertility specialist, a 65-year old woman had a baby.
All her relatives came to visit and meet the newest member of their family.
When they asked to see the baby, the 65-year old mother said, “not yet.”
A little later they asked to see the baby again.
Again the new mother said, “not yet.”
Finally they said, “When can we see the baby?”
And the mother said, “When the baby cries.”
The relatives asked, “Why do we have to wait until the baby cries?”
The senior mother explained, “Because I forgot where I put it.”
Bad Chemistry
Little Johnny was telling his father, “My Chemistry teacher is really giving me a rough time.”
“Handle it this way Johnny,” his father advised. “Take special care with your personal appearance and attire. Pay attention in class. And do your assignments and homework promptly.”
Johnny sighed, “I really don’t think that’ll help, Dad.”
“Why not?” asked his father.
“During study break, she hissed at me that she’s 3 weeks overdue.”
The IT Chat
Moss and Roy were chatting in the IT department at work.
“Yesterday, I met this gorgeous blonde girl in a bar,” said Roy
Moss asked, “So what happened? What did you do?”
“Well,” said Roy, “I invited her over to my place, we had a couple of drinks, we got into the mood and then she suddenly asked me to take all her clothes off.”
“You’re kidding me!” exclaimed Moss
“No seriously! I took her miniskirt off, then her bra, her panties, and then I lifted her up and put her on the desk next to my new laptop.”
“Really?” Moss said with excitement. “You got a new laptop?”
Here Comes the Bride
A groom passed down the aisle of the church to take his place by the altar. The best man noticed that the groom had the biggest, brightest smile on his face.
The best man asked, “Hey man, I know you are happy to be getting married, but what’s up with that smile?”
The groom replied, “I just had the best blow job I have ever had in my entire life and I am marrying the wonderful woman who gave it to me.”
The bride came walking down the aisle, and she too had the biggest, brightest smile on her face.
The maid of honor noticed this and asked, “Hey, I know you are happy to be getting married, but what’s up with that smile?”
The bride replied, “I’ll never have to give another blow job for the rest of my life!”
Laying Pipe with the Plumber
A housewife called a plumber to fix a leaky pipe.
During the course of the afternoon the two became extremely friendly. One thing led to another, and before long the two were frolicking in the sheets.
Suddenly the phone rang, and the housewife took the call. After she hung up the phone she told the plumber, “That was my husband. He’s on his way home now, but he’ll be going back to the office around 8pm. Come back then, and we can take up where we left off.”
The plumber looked at the woman in disbelief, “What? On my own time?”
Sunday, October 15, 2017
Back to the Menial Surfdom
Do you remember when I mentioned that promotion? Well, now I’m demoted back to my old position. It was actually per my request. Here’s the scoop:
When I applied for the position, I thought I’d get along great with my new coworkers… Well I was half right. I got along great with my new boss… but the other guy… Let’s just call him “Martin” (not his real name)… While we seemed to get along on the surface, I really couldn’t stand working with “Martin”.
Of course when I asked for my old job back, I gave the supervisor a different reason because even though I didn’t like working with “Martin”, he’s not a bad guy, and I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. After all, it wasn’t his fault that I didn’t like working with him, and the guy who was “next in line” likes working with “Martin”. It seems everything worked out for the best after all.
Look, I already don’t like to work. I’ve said it many times that if I didn’t have to work for a living, I wouldn’t. Since I have to work for a living 5 to 6 days a week, it better not be something that makes me miserable. Working with Martin made me feel miserable, so it wasn’t worth the extra money.
Oh, and there’s a silver lining… The guy in charge of my department will be retiring in the next 3 to 6 years, and guess who’s the company’s #1 pick to replace him?
That would be me, sweetheart.
Pax,
-f2x
Better Filler than Nothing
Bad Luck Friday After Work
A few guys always got together every Friday after work. It was Friday the 13th, and Chad showed up particularly late.
He sat down at the bar and kicked back his entire first beer in one gulp. Then he turned and said, “I’m having some really bad luck today. I mean, I stopped by the house after work and my wife told me that she’s going to cut me back to only two times a week! I can’t believe it.”
At which point his buddy Troy put his hand on Chad’s shoulder and said reassuringly, “You think you’ve got it bad, she’s cut me out altogether.”
The Sister’s Spoliation
Two nuns, Sister Clara and Sister Agnes, were walking through the park when they were jumped by two thugs.
The men ripped off the women’s habits and began to rape them.
Sister Clara cast her eyes heavenward and cried, “Forgive him Lord, for he knows not what he is doing!”
Sister Agnes looked at Sister Clare with a smile and said, “Mine sure does.”