A man walked into a grocery store, “I would like half a head of lettuce.”
The teenager working there answered, “Sorry sir, we only sell full heads of lettuce.”
“But I only want half a head”
“Sorry, but we can’t do that”
Getting angry, the man demanded that the boy speak to the manager. So the teenager went back to the manager, and told him “Sir, there is some asshole in the store who wants half a head of lettuce…” When he turned to point out the the customer, he saw that the man was standing directly behind him. “And this gentleman wants the other half.”
With a nod, the manager sent the young clerk off and dealt with the customer. Afterward he went to the teenager, “Son, I am really impressed how quick you were on your feet back there. Where are you from?”
“I’m from Canada, sir,” the lad replied.
“Oh,” said the manager. “Why did you leave?”
“There’s nothing in Canada but hockey players and sluts.”
The family gathering was a bit smaller than usual this year. Not because of Covid, but because they could not make it for other personal reasons. It also felt like something was off, more tense, quiet, and perfunctory. The food was excellent, and the weather was beyond perfect, but still something was off.
It will be a couple months before I see them all again. Perhaps by then things will start to seem more normal... whatever normal may be.
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Flush Twice is a JOTD (Joke of the Day) website. New jokes are published every Monday through Friday (midnight EST). There is also a comic and a personal blog in the sidebar that updates on the weekends. We’ve been operating since May of 2003.
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