A man walked into a grocery store, “I would like half a head of lettuce.”
The teenager working there answered, “Sorry sir, we only sell full heads of lettuce.”
“But I only want half a head”
“Sorry, but we can’t do that”
Getting angry, the man demanded that the boy speak to the manager. So the teenager went back to the manager, and told him “Sir, there is some asshole in the store who wants half a head of lettuce…” When he turned to point out the the customer, he saw that the man was standing directly behind him. “And this gentleman wants the other half.”
With a nod, the manager sent the young clerk off and dealt with the customer. Afterward he went to the teenager, “Son, I am really impressed how quick you were on your feet back there. Where are you from?”
“I’m from Canada, sir,” the lad replied.
“Oh,” said the manager. “Why did you leave?”
“There’s nothing in Canada but hockey players and sluts.”
Flush Twice is a JOTD (Joke of the Day) website. New jokes are published every Monday through Friday (midnight EST). There is also a comic and a personal blog in the sidebar that updates on the weekends. We’ve been operating since May of 2003.
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So what makes a joke funny?
It all boils down to a sudden shift in perception. The story starts you thinking one way, then the punchline turns that thinking on its ear. The art of the joke is to craft a short story that isn’t overly contrived, then deliver a punchline that suddenly shifts your perception about the story you were being told.
Many of the jokes on this site are offensive, and we make no apologies for it. Offensive jokes work by making the reader uncomfortable through the use of a taboo subject thus enhancing the underlying humor. Without the offensive element, the joke would simply not be as funny.