Hunting for a Taxidermist

Lorraine was driving through a small town in Montana and stopped at a roadside produce stand to ask where she could find a taxidermist.

The older gentleman seemed a little confused and said he didn’t think there was any around these parts.

Surprised by this, she said, “Are you sure?”

It was then he admitted he didn’t actually know what the word meant.

So she explained that a taxidermist is a man who mounts animals.

The old man’s face relaxed with a smile and said, “Oh hell, we’ve got plenty of them around here, only we call them sheepherders!”

The Traveler’s Confession

In order to save on vacation costs, two secretaries are rooming together.
On the first night Jill turns to her friend Sally, puts her hand on her shoulder, and says, “There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you about myself. I’ll be frank; I’m a lesbian.”
“That’s OK,” says Sally. “I’ll be Frank tomorrow night, I’m a lesbian

The Clandestined Back Road

A young man and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town.
They were about to have sex when the girl stopped. “I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I’m actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex.”
The man reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing.
After a cigarette, the man just sat in the driver’s seat looking out the window.
“Why aren’t we going anywhere?” asked the girl.
“Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I’m actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $25.”

Questionable Kinship

Two good ol’ boys in a Tennessee trailer park were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer after getting off of work at their local Nissan plant.
After a while the first guy says to the second, “If’n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday and make love to your wife while you was off huntin’ and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us kin?”
The second guy crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head, and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question.
Finally, he says, “Well, I don’t know about kin, but it would make us even.”

Rumors of Infidelity

A co-worker informed George that George’s wife was being unfaithful everyday at 1:30 in the afternoon with George’s best friend.
Worried and hurt, George ran home at 1:30 to see if this was true. He came back to the office contented and relieved.
His co-worker meandered over and asked him how it went.
“Look,” said George. “Don’t start such terrible rumors! That guy isn’t my best friend. In fact I don’t even know him!”