A scientist named Walter invented a shrinking ray. He tried it on himself, and it worked. Unfortunately he couldn’t reverse the process, and he was stuck being the size of a normal man’s thumb.
He had a loyal lab assistant who worked with him, though, so his diminutive size didn’t affect Walter’s work too much.
Still, after a while, Walter began to long for female companionship.
His lab assistant thought up a highly-unethical plan. He planned to get a couple of ladies of the night, shrink them to Walter’s size, and keep them shrunk until they could figure out a way to reverse the process.
The lab assistant went to Times Square and tried to get the young ladies, but it was trickier than it seemed. They were reluctant to travel all the way to the lab, but the lab assistant offered to double their usual rate, so they finally agreed.
As soon as they stepped into the lab, the assistant turned on the shrinking ray.
here was a flash of light and a puff of smoke, and when the air had cleared, the prostitutes were exactly the same size as they were before.
“What’s the big idea? Eek!” One of the prostitutes saw Walter scurrying across the floor and squashed him flat with her shoe! Walter was dead, and the experiment was ruined.
This was all because the lab assistant forgot what everyone already knows. ‘You can lead the whores to Walter, but you can’t make ’em shrink.’
The Golden Soapbox
Gail’s Pic of the Week
Sunday, April 4, 2021
It's a Strange Calm
The family gathering was a bit smaller than usual this year. Not because of Covid, but because they could not make it for other personal reasons. It also felt like something was off, more tense, quiet, and perfunctory. The food was excellent, and the weather was beyond perfect, but still something was off.
It will be a couple months before I see them all again. Perhaps by then things will start to seem more normal... whatever normal may be.
Kudos
Thanks for stopping by. I shouldn't have to tell you that our submission page is available, but feel free to drop off a couple of jokes.
Pax,
-f2xGET THE PLUNGER!
What is Flush Twice?
Flush Twice is a JOTD (Joke of the Day) website. New jokes are published every Monday through Friday (midnight EST). There is also a comic and a personal blog in the sidebar that updates on the weekends. We’ve been operating since May of 2003.
Jokes are generously provided by friends and visitors such as yourself. If you would like to contribute, please check out our submission page, or e-mail flush2x@gmail.com. If you know anyone who constantly e-mails you jokes, forward them to us! We’ll take what we can get!
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It all boils down to a sudden shift in perception. The story starts you thinking one way, then the punchline turns that thinking on its ear. The art of the joke is to craft a short story that isn’t overly contrived, then deliver a punchline that suddenly shifts your perception about the story you were being told.
Many of the jokes on this site are offensive, and we make no apologies for it. Offensive jokes work by making the reader uncomfortable through the use of a taboo subject thus enhancing the underlying humor. Without the offensive element, the joke would simply not be as funny.
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