A Perfectly Good Day

Well, Birdie’s back! The biggest problem with female characters is getting the breasts just right. Too big, and people just fixate on the breasts, missing any joke there might have been. On the other hand, females without them don’t look like females. Looking back I saw a lot of really bad boobs on my female characters, and this leads me to believe that I just don’t spend enough time studying breasts. Which leads me to my new task for the rest of the year. I plan on studying every female’s breasts that I encounter. It’s going to be rough, but I think it will be worth it.

A Few Random Jokes

A six year-old girl walks into the bathroom as her dad is getting out of the shower.

“Daddy, what’s that?” she asks, pointing up.

“Well, it’s a penis” he replies.

“A penis? When am I going to get one of those?”

“Just as soon as your mother leaves for work.”

Guy picks up a hooker and once at the hotel, starts to fuck. He screams in agony as he pulls his cock out. “What the fuck…” he say “it feels like fucking two rocks”.

The hooker stands up “Oh I am so sorry..” and goes to the bathroom. She comes back and lays on the bed “Try that again Sugar” she says.

He does and it is the smoothest warmest pussy he has ever felt. While dressing he asks “That was a rough start but damn it was incredible. What did you do?”

She smiled and replied “I just picked the scabs.”

Let’s face it… Some guys don’t really care.

A man goes to his best friend’s house to watch the hockey game. At the end of the first period the man says to his friend, “You know, we’ve been friends for a long time and I’ve always wanted to tell you this, but I really want to fuck your wife.”

The friend thinks for a moment before replying, “Ok. You can fuck my wife, but promise me one thing. You MUST NOT go down on her.”

The man says ok, goes upstairs and fucks his friend’s wife, but no matter how hard he tries, he can’t resist the urge to go down on her. He comes back just as the second period is starting and says to his friend, “Man, I’m really sorry, but I couldn’t resist the urge to go down on your wife. The weirdest thing happened when I did it though… I got a mouth full of rice.”

The friend laughs and says, “That wasn’t rice, she’s been dead for a month!”

So you thought that wasn’t bad enough?

An ugly man walks into his local pub with a big grin on his face.

“What are you so happy about?” asks the barman.

“Well, I’ll tell you,” replies the ugly man. “You know I live by the railway? Well, on my way home last night I noticed a young woman tied to the tracks like in the films. I ran over, cut her free and took her back to my place. Anyway, to cut a long story short I scored big time. We screwed all night, all over the house. We did everything, me on top, sometimes her on top.”

“Fantastic!” exclaimed the barman. “You lucky sod. Was she pretty?”

“Dunno,” replied the man. “Never found the head!”


With my medical bills (and that include vet as well) smacking me left and right, I really need to save every last nickle I can lay hands on… Then again, I’ll just extend my credit a little further so I can continue living my lavish lifestyle.