Ever been “that guy”. Yeah, it sucks to be in that position. Of course loathsome seething always makes for a laugh a minute, so next week we’ll move on to more family oriented topics such as getting blood stains out of a diaper.
1. Where’s the rest of it?
2. Ahh, it’s cute.
3. Who circumcised you?
4. Why don’t we just cuddle?
5. You know they have surgery to fix that.
6. It’s more fun to look at.
7. Make it dance.
8. You know, there’s a tower in Italy like that.
9. Can I paint a smiley face on that?
10. It looks like a night crawler.
11. Wow, and your feet are so big.
12. My last boyfriend was 4” bigger.
13. It’s ok, we’ll work around it.
14. Is this a mild or a spicy Slim Jim?
15. Eww, there’s an inch worm on your thigh.
16. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?
17. Oh no, a flash headache.
18. (giggle and point)
19. Can I be honest with you?
20. My 8-year-old brother has one like that.
21. Let me go get my tweezers.
22. How sweet, you brought incense.
23. This explains your car.
24. You must be a growing boy.
25. Maybe if we water it, it’ll grow.
26. Thanks, I needed a toothpick.
27. Are you one of those pygmies?
28. Have you ever thought of working in a sideshow?
29. Every heard of clearasil?
30. All right, a treasure hunt!
31. I didn’t know they came that small.
32. Why is God punishing you?
33. At least this won’t take long.
34. I never saw one like that before.
35. What do you call this?
36. But it still works, right?
37. I hate baby-sitting.
38. It looks so unused.
39. Do you take steroids?
40. I hear excessive masturbation shrinks it.
41. Maybe it looks better in natural light.
42. Why don’t we skip right to the cigarettes?
43. Oh, I didn’t know you were in an accident.
44. Did you date Lorena Bobbitt?
45. Aww, it’s hiding.
46. Are you cold?
47. If you get me real drunk first.
48. Is that an optical illusion?
49. What is that?
50. I’ll go get the ketchup for your french fry.
51. Were you neutered?
52. It’s a good thing you have so many other talents.
53. Does it come with an air pump?
54. So this is why you’re supposed to judge people on personality.
55. Where are the puppet strings?
56. Your big gun is more like a BB gun.
57. Look, it fits my Barbie clothes.
58. Never mind, why bother.
59. Is that a second belly button?
60. I’ve smoked fatter joints than that.
I would really like to get an electric car. Presently I own two vehicles, a gas guzzling SUV from 2002 and a rusty sedan from 1997, neither of which is getting any prettier. Since their fuel and maintenance cost less than a car payment, I keep them.
Recently my dad disputed my assertion that when you do not factor in the price of the vehicle, EV's (electric vehicles) were cheaper to operate than ICE (internal combustion engine) vehicles. He didn't think that was true and that the only way to change his mind would be if he owned an EV to see for himself... a condition that could never be satisfied because he would never buy or lease an EV on principle.
It doesn't take a lot of Googling to learn that the Kilowatt per mile costs only a tiny fraction of what even the most efficient ICE cars can achieve in miles per gallon, but that's not good enough for my dad. He has finally walled his mind up on the matter. The subject is too political for him. All the information on the internet is "fake news" and "hoaxes". EV's are part of a "liberal agenda", and that's that!
Of course it is true that if you compare the cost of a new EV to a comparably equipped ICE vehicle, the cost difference will likely be more than the ICE vehicle's fuel cost over the next ten years. So I'll concede that EV's do not actually save you money under the current pricing conditions.
Another problem I have with EV's is that the auto manufacturers do everything possible to make their EV's unfamiliar and unacceptable to people who like their ICE cars. The typical driver doesn't want to operate a "concept car" for their daily commute. They want something familiar, comfortable, safe, and dependable.
There's no technical reason that EV's could not be made to look and operate like their ICE brethren, so why is it that automakers willfully keep a viable alternative as the least-appealing option to the average consumer?
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