Rural Relationships

The farm hand was walking past the barn when he heard some romantic music playing. Being curious, he looked inside to see the farmer dancing really slow while slipping one suspender off his shoulder and down his arm. As he removed the other suspender from his other shoulder, the farm hand realized that the farmer was doing a strip tease in front of his John Deere.

He asked, “Bubba, what in the world are you doing?”

The farmer said, “Well, Earl, I went to the doctor this morning and told him that me and the wife has been having trouble with our relationship. He told me that when I got home I should get cleaned up, put on some soft music, then do something sexy to a tractor.”

Unfiltered Glenn Jokes: “Sex Education Test”

Directions: Please complete the following problems. You may use a

scratch piece of paper for your calculations which must be turned in

with your exam. SHOW ALL WORK! Use only a #2 pencil.. You have

20 minutes to complete the exam.

1. A menstrual cycle has three wheels.

[True] or [False]

2. Asphalt describes rectal problems.

[True] or [False]

3. Spread Eagle is an extinct bird.

[True] or [False]

4. Vagina is a medical term used to describe a Heart Attack.

[True] or [False]

5. The clitoris is a type of flower.

[True] or [False]

6. A G-string is part of a fiddle.

[True] or [False]

7. Semen is a term for sailors.

[True] or [False]

8. Anus is a Latin term for yearly.

[True] or [False]

9. Testicles are found on an Octopus.

[True] or [False]

10. A pubic hair is a wild rabbit.

[True] or [False]

11. KOTEX is a radio station in Cincinnati.

[True] or [False]

12. Masturbate is used to catch large fish.

[True] or [False]

13. Coitus is a musical instrument.

[True] or [False]

14. Fetus is a character on Gunsmoke.

[True] or [False]

15. An umbilical cord is part of a parachute.

[True] or [False]

16. A condom is a large apartment complex.

[True] or [False]

17. An orgasm is a person who accompanies a church choir.

[True] or [False]

18. A diaphragm is a drawing in geometry.

[True] or [False]

19. A dildo is a variety of sweet pickle.

[True] or [False]

20. An erection is when Japanese people vote.

[True] or [False]

21. A lesbian is a person from the Middle East.

[True] or [False]

22. Sodomy is a special land of fast growing grass.

[True] or [False]

23. Pornography is the business of making records.

[True] or [False]

24. Genitals are people of non-Jewish origin.

[True] or [False]

25. Douche is the French word for “twelve.”

[True] or [False]

Time’s up! Put your pencil’s down. Turn your results in to your

significant other, so they know what they are dealing with.

Unfiltered Glenn Jokes: “Shorts for Thursday”

What’s the definition of a vagina?
The box a penis comes in.

Two little boys were arguing. “My father is better than your father!” “No, he’s not!” “My brother is better than your brother!” “No he’s not!” “My mother is better than your mother!” The second boy paused. “Well I guess you’ve got me there. My father says the same thing.”

What’s the definition of a transvestite?
He’s a guy who likes to eat, drink, and be Mary.