Guy walks in a bar with a black eye and sits down.
The barman says “That looks nasty, what happened”?
The man says” My wife complained that we don’t make love like they do in the movies, so I ripped her clothes off and bent her over the sink. Then I fucked her hard while spanking her and then pulled out, spat on my dick and stuck it in her ass. I then threw her on the floor and came on her face and tits”.
The barman said ” Wow, that sounds amazing, but why the black eye”?
“Well, it turns out we don’t watch the same movies”.