Flush Twice is a variable panel comic. It first appeared in 2004 as a daily single panel comic featuring stick figures. The art style has evolved over time, but the original characters are still quite recognizable from the very beginning to the present.
So most people know about the strange U.S. custom of eating a giant turkey feast on the last Thursday of November. If you didn’t, well, that’s what we do. After which we have a lot of badly aging leftovers stuffed into our refrigerators for about a week. My mother used to create a myriad of soups, casseroles, and concoctions from the remains. I dare say my dad probably has a few Cool Whip containers that she’d left behind in the deep freezer from Thanksgivings long past… And knowing my dad, he’d probably eat them too.
So yes, I’ve got an Ello account, and I have no idea what it’s good for. Here it is: https://ello.co/f2x.
As I skimmed through the other users, it would seem that the vast majority are identifying themselves as “graphic designer”. Yeah… It feels like I’m in a room full of people drinking the most pretentious sounding beverages at Starbucks, and I’m standing there with a used styrofoam cup half full of a tepid watered down generic instant coffee.
Personally I get the impression that this site isn’t going to be a Facebook killer. Honestly I doubt it will become as popular as MySpace. People will sign up out of curiosity , post a few things, promptly forget about it, but not before they blog about how awful the experience was.
So maybe that’s what Ello is good for: Unifying the internet in proclaiming how bad it sucks.
To be honest, I wasn’t much to speak of on my APFT (Army Physical Fitness Test), and PT wasn’t exactly my forte either. Still, I don’t really think I’d want be be heading into that part of the world at this point in time.
I don’t usually do two comics in a single weekend… Heck, I don’t usually do three panel comics for that matter either. It’s just that I’ve been making some progress on the soldier characters, and I thought I’d just go ahead and toss it out there.
And just where did I suddenly find time to work on the comic? Well, my dog Grace is down with a sinus infection. It’s amazing how much work you can get done on the computer when the dog isn’t always begging to play.
When you watch movies and television, you occasionally see scenes that involve lockers and showers. They usually seem very relaxed and casual. People walk around as if they were alone in their own bathroom, yet they converse with one another as if they were having lunch in a sports bar. In real life, shower rooms typically have a sort of nervous tension. Most people do not feel quite so comfortable being naked around others. It’s not even gymnophobia really. Being naked in front of others can make one feel vulnerable. This is normal.
When I served, we usually had these trailers with somewhat private individual shower stalls, but sometimes you would encounter the “open bay” shower facilities. Everyone reacts differently to this. Some people take it in stride, while others take up a more defensive posture. Then there’s the ones who suddenly let it all hang out as if they just arrived at some kind of wild beach party with an open bar. Long story short, if you’re a dude who has a problem showering with other dudes, then the military may not be for you.
It’s not just the guys either… Females also deal with this. One corporal I knew was completely mortified by another female’s disregard for personal space in the showers. I had a pretty good chuckle when she irritatingly referred to the offender as “Chesty McTits”, but I’m sure she didn’t find the situation quite as amusing.
I’ve actually been working on the set more than anything. I added actual double hung windows along with window blinds. In the actual house, I have window shades and curtains, but I couldn’t figure out how to make curtains, and the shades looked all wrong as well.
Oh, did I mention that the house in the comic is actually modeled after my own house? Yup… That chair that Brandon is sitting in is actually a faux leather computer chair, but everything else is fairly accurate. Now that the real house has finally been painted, life imitates art. Both Brandon’s house, and my house are blue, but to be honest, I always wanted a blue house since I was a kid, so that’s why.
I suppose it’s generally considered bad form to use 3D software for a comic. Aside from the mentality that “It’s cheating”, I’m guessing it’s also because they tend to fall into the “uncanny valley”. The characters themselves usually look like something out of a video game and lack real expression, while the speech bubbles look especially out of place. I’ve tried pretty hard to make sure mine doesn’t look like that, and I’m always looking to improve.
Not to ruin the “magic”, but the sets are carefully selected screen shots from a 3D engine, and the characters themselves are just cleverly designed 2D bitmaps pasted into the scene. I actually “cut out” the desk and paste it back in on top of Dewey and Brandon’s legs so it feels like they are part of the set. I think the result is fairly seamless, but it’s a lot of tedious work.
Oh, BTW: I’m still working on my female characters. They will be back soon, and I plan to make them more realistic in terms of their personalities so they can pass a Bechdel test. I’m also bringing back Tyler’s old flame, “Toni”. Toni hasn’t been seen since 2005 when I abandoned an ill fated pregnancy story arc. She’s actually looking pretty good. Here’s how the interview went:
Who knows… I may give these three their own story arc down the road.
You’ve been seeing this technique just about every weekday since I restarted posting. Just for fun I thought I would do a quick tutorial on how it’s done. This is an easy one, so give it a try. You can even make it really large to do awesome desktop backgrounds that will make people think you’ve got amazing art skills! Have fun! 🙂
OK, so back to the story… Brandon kicked Tyler out by getting him back in Reserves. Apparently he’s been living at the Reserve Unit this whole time. SSG Bromite realizes this isn’t going to work.
Basically I don’t have to. There isn’t anyone getting payed to do this, so no one’s going to get fired if I take an extended vacation.
A long time ago I used to be active in the webcomic’s scene… OK, I just posted in a forum devoted to webcomics, acting like I actually had some kind of talent, but I digress. Since then, a lot of the struggling webcomics like mine are gone. Many of their domains expired, and they ended up in the hands of those weird spammy Asians who think they can make a buck off it somehow. Occasionally I think about those webcomics. Some of them were pretty good too. Maybe they were a bit too weird to ever get a wide audience, but these people put their hearts into something they thought they could do, and now they are gone. It kind of makes me sad.
So even if I never post another update again, I’ve kind of vowed that no one else is ever, ever, going to take over my domain (unless they offer me a lot of money), and since it’s mine, I may just get something out of it by posting my jokes and comics when the mood moves me. Today it moved me.
Like the movie, “Rubber”, this site is an homage to the “no reason“. Why do I do this? Absolutely no fucking reason.
If Tyler is going to be playing soldier again, I’m going to need to add a few new characters. The characters I’ve created are completely fictional and do not represent any soldiers living or dead.
So it's been kind of a mixed bag this year. Sadly, my Aunt Pam passed away back in February, then my cat, Alex, died in June. On the plus side, I got Murphy in August, and I finally managed to pay off what was left of my old revolving credit card debt that I've had hanging over me for 40 years.
Born on June 22, 2025, Murphy is about 6 months old as of this post. I picked him up off Craig's List for $10 when he was about 7 weeks old. Since then I've spent about $1300 over 5 vet visits to make sure he got all his shots and yes that includes neutering. Where Alex merely tolerated Gail, Murphy adores her. and the two are regularly seen snuggling up to one another. Those photos aren't staged. These two are really that close.
In spite of everything, I'm still gainfully employed. it's highly doubtful AI is going to take my job anytime soon, so I guess I can be thankful for that. On the other hand I recently found out I have chronic kidney disease, so that's no beuno. I won't find out until January if lifestyle and medication changes are going to be enough to keep it from progressing. Fingers crossed.
On a lighter note, I've started occasionally live-streaming Tarot card readings on Twitch. No, I don't actually believe in magical mumbo-jumbo, but there is an art to the craft. I look at Tarot as basically being psychology with flashcards. There are 78 cards, and each card can have different and multiple meanings depending on its context. When you know what you're doing you can ALWAYS match randomly dealt cards to the context. Form a coherent narrative around the cards and you can actually gain an altered perspective on your situation that may give you more confidence in facing your problems.
So that's about it for 2025. Not gonna lie: While it wasn't all bad, this year sucked pretty hard. I can't make any promises, but I fully intend on putting out more than 2 comics in 2026, and I might even include a few more jokes and rants.
Flush Twice has been around since May of 2003. It started out as a JOTD (Joke of the Day) website. New jokes were published every weekday. Over the years, good jokes were increasingly hard to come by, and eventually they got so rare that I just stopped trying to publish them.
Since 2004 there has also been an eponymous comic. I still occasionally publish a new one on Saturdays. It’s also rare anymore, but sometimes it happens.
Here lately I’ve been posting a “Link of the Day”. For the time being, I will be featuring a new website from my enormous collection of bookmarked websites every weekday. None of it is solicited promotions, and no one is paying me to feature their site. These are just websites that at one time I thought were interesting enough to add to my bookmarks folder.
I highly encourage using some kind of ad blocking extension before clicking on any of these links. You’ll also hear me say this phrase a lot about these posts: “They can’t all be winners.” But it’s better than just leaving the site abandoned.
The jokes were generously provided by friends and visitors such as yourself. I want to express my eternal thanks to everyone over the years who helped contribute to the collection.
So what is it that makes a joke funny?
It all boils down to a sudden shift in perception. The story starts you thinking one way, then the punchline turns that thinking on its ear. The art of the joke is to craft a short story that isn’t overly contrived, then deliver a punchline that suddenly shifts your perception about the story you were being told.
Many of the jokes on this site are offensive, and I make no apologies for it. Offensive jokes work by making the reader uncomfortable through the use of a taboo subject thus enhancing the underlying humor. Without the offensive element, the joke would simply not be as funny.
