Originally, the comic was named after the site. It’s still the same comic with the same characters and stories, but the change signified a new approach in how the weekly comic was placed in conjunction with the daily jokes. The old “Flush Twice” comic would just have its day in the sun and roll off the stage when tomorrow’s joke came along. Meanwhile, “Pathos” holds its ground until a new panel is ready.
So a long time ago, in May of 2003, I started putting jokes on this website. Less than a year later in January of 2004, I started putting up a daily panel comic. Shortly after I created a template I could use to upload the daily joke and comic- A kind of do-it-yourself content management system if you will.
Back then, updates were handled via ftp (file transfer protocol), and the web server was literally in my basement. Occasionally my home IP address would change, and I’d have to log into a DNS server and update that info so people could connect with my website again. In the fall of 2005 I joined the Army, and I wasn’t home to watch over the server, so the site went offline right after I left. During “Christmas exodus” I signed up with IX Webhosting to bring the site back online, and kept doing what I had been doing until this date.
So in late October of 2008, I realized that my web host could support a CMS (Content Management System). Of course they were able to do this all along, but the thought had previously never occurred to me. I started playing around with it, and at first I installed Moveable Type. That wasn’t really working out for me, so I switched to WordPress.
The thing is, everything thing I had done… All my work from May of ’03 to October of ’08 somehow managed to get deleted. Oh, I could find scraps of it here and there, but there was never any October 21, 2008 backup of Flush Twice. If it wasn’t saved on the internet archive site, it was gone for good.
On the bright side, it meant I could re-use all those jokes again, but it still makes it look as if Flush Twice and it’s comic hadn’t started until 2008, when Flush Twice has actually been around since 2003. So that’s why we can’t go back. There’s nothing to go back to.
So what's left to talk about? How about them workers.
So in real life, I'm a blue collar worker. My employer makes a variety of products deemed essential, so I do not get to take the lovely "stay-cation" that the rest of the online world seems to be enjoying at this present point in time.
It is true that I have my own desk and computer at work, but I make my living repetitively lifting heavy shit that fucks up my back. I also have to play nice with the office dwellers who have no fucking clue about how great a toll manual labor takes on a person's health and well being.
The problem is complicated. If an individual has a problem, it is assumed that the individual is the problem. You have to have several issues across multiple people without any outliers. If just one person can handle it, then that's all the evidence they need to claim that it is the person, not the job that is the problem. It is not until enough people have fallen by the wayside (and possibly a legal issue or two) that white collar workers (upper management) suddenly find religion.
You would think that management addressing working conditions would be a relief to the blue collar worker, but it is not. It usually makes things worse. The solutions usually requires more steps and procedures that ultimately end up being more difficult. For bonus points, they sometimes add in required documentation that must be signed and turned in on a regular basis that is worded in such a way as to imply that everything is fine. They make it so workers have to sign this paperwork if they want to keep their jobs. The documentation will later be used against any worker who manifests a problem because everything was obviously not fine when they signed it.
Ultimately the worker comes to an uncomfortable realization. They need the money this job affords, but over time, this job can cause physical harm. If harm is caused, making it known can lead to the worker being dismissed from their position which would result in a financially devastating loss of pay. They keep quiet about any problems and mask them for as long as possible. They try to find little cheats and tricks to mitigate the harm they are faced with. They also hold onto the hope that someday something better will come along before the harm done is irreversible.
In some cases that "something better" is a retirement twenty years from now, and sometimes it is finally qualifying for permanent disability. Far too often nothing better comes along, and the worker is left broken and abandoned.
As mentioned before, my employer managed to get themselves deemed "essential" so they could stay open. If our shop had been closed down like everything else, we would all be getting our no-hassle unemployment checks from the state right now.
To meet with compliance, management is making us spray everything down with a disinfectant spray throughout the day. The whole factory reeks of this shit, and it irritates our lungs, but nobody dares to cough.
If the management even thinks you are sick, they will send you out on unpaid "sick leave", and won't let you come back without a doctor's note... As if anybody could even get in to see a doctor right now. The waiting list for my primary care doctor is over two weeks!
So hang in their kids. I don't wish this shit on anyone but when the "Boomer Remover" starts to infect those who have actively worked against my best interests, I really can't say I feel too bad about that.
Due to the corona virus, George and Glenn are DEAD! No more jokes evar!
Just kidding. George and Glenn are fine. They send me the jokes, I pick out the best ones, clean and disinfect them, and publish them for your enjoyment. Of course anyone can send me jokes via our submission page or by sending them to email@example.com.
"It's very interesting, the joke comes first and then the wording comes within five seconds, maybe ten seconds. My thing is to get the joke across in as few words as possible. However, sometimes a word that's not really needed does help the rhythm of it. It's a gut feeling." ― Steven Wright
Flush Twice is a JOTD (Joke of the Day) website. New jokes are published every Monday through Friday (midnight EST). There is also a comic and a personal blog in the sidebar that updates on the weekends. We’ve been operating since May of 2003.
Jokes are generously provided by friends and visitors such as yourself. If you would like to contribute, please check out our submission page, or e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org. If you know anyone who constantly e-mails you jokes, forward them to us! We’ll take what we can get!
So what makes a joke funny?
It all boils down to a sudden shift in perception. The story starts you thinking one way, then the punchline turns that thinking on its ear. The art of the joke is to craft a short story that isn’t overly contrived, then deliver a punchline that suddenly shifts your perception about the story you were being told.
Many of the jokes on this site are offensive, and we make no apologies for it. Offensive jokes work by making the reader uncomfortable through the use of a taboo subject thus enhancing the underlying humor. Without the offensive element, the joke would simply not be as funny.