The Mathematician’s Wager

Two mathematicians were having dinner in a restaurant, The older and more cynical one was thinking about taking and early retirement because the American public simply didn’t care about math anymore.

The more optimistic mathematician protested, and claimed that it wasn’t true.

“I’ll tell you what,” said the cynic, “ask that waitress a simple math question. If she gets it right, I’ll keep teaching and pick up dinner. If not, I’m out and you can pay for tonight’s meal.” He then excused himself to visit the men’s room.

While his colleague was away, the other mathematician called the waitress over. “When my friend comes back,” he told her, “I’m going to ask you a question, and I want you to respond ‘one third x cubed.’ There’s twenty bucks in it for you.”

She agreed, and when the cynic returned from the bathroom, the younger optimist called the waitress back over again. “We are ready for the check now,” the mathematician started. “Incidentally, do you know what the integral of x squared is?”

The waitress looked pensive; almost pained. She looked around the room, at her feet, made a groaning noise, and finally said, “Um, one third x cubed?”

Satisfied with the answer, the cynic paid the check, but as the waitress began to walk away, she looked back at the two men, and added, “…plus a constant.”

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Sunday, August 4, 2024

Happy Birthday, Gail!

You know I almost forgot it, and just by chance I remembered. Today is Gail’s 5th birthday! That’s right! That little puppy I started posting pictures of back in 2019 is a full 5 years old today.

You might have noticed I stopped posting weekly pictures of her a while ago. For the most part, she had stopped growing, so there really wasn’t that much of a change from week to week. Also, I was having trouble finding the time to make the effort.

Rest assured, Gail keeps on being an indomitable force in my life. Never does a day go by that I’m not forced to wait on hand and foot to this ornery critter. Other than when I’m at work, Gail is almost always with me. You’d think she’d be better behaved by now, but this dog loses her shit every time she sees a ball… or another dog… or food… or just realizes when we’ve turned down any of the roads on the way to one of her many favorite places.

To say this dog is spoiled would be an understatement. To me, spoiling means you treat them better than they deserve. With my previous dog, Grace, she was so good, spoiling was effectively impossible, but with Gail, spoiling is simply unavoidable. She lacks any sort of self-control or discipline, and she isn’t shy about letting you know how she feels in any given situation. If you have her on a leash, you better be careful because she can easily dislocate your shoulder.

But Gail is also easy to love. It’s amazing how she is such a people magnet. Gail has her own fan club, and people take walks by my yard just to come up to the fence to say hi to Gail and pet her. She’s very friendly and wants nothing more than to eat, play, and be loved.

Oh, and to poop… Soooo much poop!

So happy birthday Baby Gail!

-f2x

Connections

It’s the latest craze to be over before I even heard about it.

So I was watching a famous YouTuber (hint: H— G—-) play this on YouTube, and thought, “Hey! This might make a good addition to my Better Things collection.

So anyhow, I’m playing this thing now, I’m terrible at it, and it’s frustrating. Fuck you, Hank.