Sunday, May 26, 2019

The DreamHost Nightmare

It happened again this past week: Database connection errors. It’s really frustrating. Perhaps you’ve seen the 503 errors too. This is hardly a misconfiguration on my part. It’s the misfortune of getting the cheapest hosting option.

When Siteground, my last hosting provider, went from reasonable to rapacious, I decided it was time to seek out a more budget friendly option. I got three years of DreamHost for under $220, and I figured I was set… Well it’s more like I was set up. At first it was just a little sluggishness, but now it’s tossing out failure messages.

So how’s that customer support? Well, you go through the trouble of typing out a detailed explanation of the problem thinking you’re opening a support ticket, and the next thing you know, they’ve redirected you to a nebulously related FAQ page based on key words in your support request… which is now gone as if you’d never typed it in the first place. So yeah… that’ll piss off just about anyone, but it nearly gave me an aneurysm

So this problem could be solved with either time or money. If I had the time, I could set up my own web server and host from home. If I had the money, I could just buy a better web hosting plan. Sadly I have neither at the moment, so it looks like these little outages will be a part of Flush Twice and mBlip for the foreseeable future.

Unbelievable! While typing this little rant, I had to take a break because the system went down yet again. Seriously, if you are looking for a web host, you might want to look past DreamHost.

(Update 5-26-2019 13:19) It just did it again, and I finally found where to submit a support ticket. The ball’s in their court. Let’s see how they handle it.

(Update 5-27-2019 23:39) So they got back with me by email. The response was disappointing. They started out by saying, “It looks like what you are running on the sites are exceeding available resources on the shared hosting service, which can cause the site to perform slower since processes may take longer to complete or fail due to resources…” It then goes on to suggest upgrading plugins, optimizing the sites, and if all else fails, upgrading to their $VPS plan$. Essentially, Dreamhost is telling me that now that my refund window has closed, my wordpress installs are using up too many resources… Also, account holders have no way of seeing where that resource usage is actually coming from. I can tell you this: It’s not coming from having too many visitors. I’d also like to point out that they are complete assholes when it comes to “upgrades” because you’re not really upgrading. Your old plan stays in place, and you’re just buying an entirely new plan at full price, but they’re such nice crooks, they’ll happily migrate your sites over to the VPS at no additional charge.

Now that I have a home fiber connection, I’m going to look into setting up my own server again. A goddamn 286 running DOS 2.1 would be better than these jackels’ shit servers.


This week, we have more jokes from Glenn, and a couple of fan-freakin-tastic contributions from “T.O.R.”. Glenn tells me that George is doing much better now, and he should be back next week. In the meantime, the submission page is awaiting your best jokes, and is also a great way to send Flush Twice new jokes.