Avoiding the Lecture

Two married friends were out drinking. Wayne turned to Shawn and said, “You know, whenever I go home after we’ve been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway, I shut off the engine and coast into the garage, take my shoes off before I go into the house, sneak up the stairs, get undressed in the bathroom, ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late.”

Shawn looked at Wayne and said, “Well, you’re obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes in the closet, undress right there in the bedroom, then jump into bed and slap her on the butt and say ‘WHO’S HORNY?!’ She acts like she’s sound asleep every time!”