Daily Archives: Sunday, May 22, 2016

Sunday, May 22, 2016

By | |
Leave a comment


Bonus Weekend!

Usually I don’t post jokes on Saturday/Sunday, but something’s piqued my curiosity enough to get me to do it. It has to do with the daily number of visitors that the site gets. The lion’s share is always referrals from Google’s search results.

So the question I have is this: Why do I get significantly fewer visits on the weekends? Is it because there are fewer people searching for jokes on the weekends, or is it because Google doesn’t think Flush Twice is good enough because there weren’t any new jokes on the weekend?

So I’m going to post weekend jokes for a while and see what happens to the numbers. Heck, it could just be that fewer people waste their time on the internet on the weekends. But I need to know the answer to the question: “What happens if I post jokes on the weekend?”

Continuing the Pathos Project

I also want to remind people that I’m running some nonsense panels on the side called, “Pathos in the Plumbing”. Perhaps practice can make proficiency, and if I stop worrying about whether or not it’s any good, in time making good ones won’t be any harder than making bad ones.

Pax,

-f2x

Confession

By | |
Leave a comment

Pat O’Leary left Cork for Philadelphia where he found a job on a building site.

When payday rolled around on Friday, Pat went out on the town, got drunk as a goat and spent the night with a prostitute.

The following day (Saturday) Pat decided to go to confession and tell all.

When the priest heard his confession he told Pat to say twenty ‘Our Fathers’, twenty ‘Hail Marys’, and twenty ‘Decades of the Rosary’, and to put $20 in the poor box.

Two weeks later Pat’s mate, Rory O’Brien, told Pat he was leaving for San Francisco because there was tons of work there and the money to be made was more than twice what could be made in Philly.

After a little coaxing Pat decides to go with Rory.

At the end of his first week on his new job Pat’s wages were more than double anything he’d made before.

Off he goes for a night on the town, gets drunk as a lord, and spends the night with a prostitute.

Come morning remorse sets in and Pat goes to Mission Dolores for confession.

After hearing Pat’s confession, the priest tells him to say a couple of ‘Our Father’s’ and drop a dollar in the poor box.

“But, Father. I did the same thing in Philly and had to say twenty ‘Our fathers’, twenty ‘Hail Marys’, twenty ‘Decades of the Rosary’, and I had to fork over $20 into the poor box.”

“Ah, sure,” the priest responded, “But, what do they know aboout drinkin’ and fuckin’ in Philadelphia.”