Monthly Archives: November 2015

Two good ol’ boys from Alabama who loved to fish heard that up in Canada they had a thing called “ice fishing”. They decided to go up there and try it. When they got there, they saw that the lake was frozen nicely.

So they headed down the road to a local bait shop. One of them said, “We’re gonna need an ice pick.” So they got it along with their other bait and tackle.

About a half hour later, one of the rednecks returned to the bait shop and said, “We’re gonna need about another dozen ice picks.”

The attendant at the shop was curious, but bagged 12 more ice picks and rang up the customer’s order.

An hour later the man was back. “We’re gonna need all the ice picks you got,” he said.

The bait shop attendant was dying to know what this was about. As he retrieved the last of his ice pick stock he asked, “By the way, how are you fellas doing?”

“Not very well at all,” said the redneck. “We ain’t even got the boat in the water yet.”

During the Lamaze class, the teacher said, “Ladies, exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial during your pregnancy. And, gentlemen, it wouldn’t hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!”

The room got really quiet.

Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand.

“Yes?” replied the teacher.

“Is it alright if she carries a golf bag while we walk?”

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him.

She greets him, “Hello.”

He’s rather taken aback, because he can’t place where he knows her from.

So he asks, “Do you know me?”

She replies, “I think you’re the father of one of my kids.”

Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and he exclaims, “My gosh, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made whoopee with on the pool table with all my buddies watching, while your partner whipped my behind with wet celery?”

She looks into his eyes and replies calmly, “No, I’m your son’s 4th grade teacher.”