The Poisoned Parishioner

A man goes to his priest and tells him that his wife is trying to poison him.

The priest asked, “Why do you think that?”

The man said, “Well, I’m having terrible headaches, my stomach is upset, I’ve lost my stamina, my legs are weak, my vision is blurry, and I lost my appetite. Only a month ago I was in perfect health.”

“This sounds serious! Have you gone to the police?” asked the priest.

“Yes, I have, and they just laughed at me.” The man continued, “Would you just talk to her and see if you can pick up on why she would do this, and perhaps convince her to stop?”

The priest replied, “Well, I’ll try and see what I can do. Come back and see me tomorrow.”

The next day the man went to the priest and asked if he found out anything.

The priest looked down as he shook his head, “I went to meet with your wife yesterday. If I were you, I’d go ahead and take the poison.”