Monthly Archives: September 2015

A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, he walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her.

She jumped up and slapped him silly.

He immediately apologized and explained, “I’m sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her.”

“Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable asshole!” she screamed.

“That’s funny,” he muttered, “You even sound exactly like her.”

That wife of mine is a liar,” said the angry husband to a sympathetic pal seated next to him in the bar.

“How do you know?” the friend asked.

“She wasn’t at home last night, and when I asked her where she had been, she said she’d spent the night with her sister, Shirley.”

“So?” the friend replied.

“So, she’s a liar because I spent the night with her sister, Shirley!”