Monthly Archives: June 2015

An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.”
He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn back into a beautiful princess and stay with you.”
The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pants pocket.
The frog then cried out, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I’ll stay with you and do anything you want.”
Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, “What is the matter? I’ve told you I’m a beautiful princess and that I’ll stay with you and do anything you want. Why won’t you kiss me?”
The engineer said, “Look, I’m an engineer. I don’t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog? Now that’s really cool!”

During a Biology class, the teacher asked the class, “Why is it that during childhood girls tend to grow taller than guys?”
Little Johnny raised his hand and replied, “That’s because guys have balls and that weighs them down.”
The teacher, a bit annoyed, responded, “Then why is it that at maturity guys tend to grow taller than girls?”
Little Johnny countered by saying, “That’s because girls get breasts and they are heavier than the guy’s balls.”

Sadie had been widowed for a few years and very lonely. Her daughter arranged a date with a local businessman named Morris. After much hemming and hawing, she consented to go on the date.
Morris picked her up the next day, and they went on a picnic in a very secluded spot. Morris also had been widowed for some time and found himself very attracted to Sadie. Despite her initial resistance to his advances, they made love right on the picnic blanket.
Sadie was mortified at her lack of self-control and sobbed “I don’t know how I can face my daughter, knowing in a time of weakness, I sinned twice!”
Morris said “What do you mean ‘twice?’ We only did it once!”
Sadie looked at Morris and said, “Well, you were going to do it again, weren’t you?”

When Ralph first noticed that his penis was growing larger and staying erect longer, he was delighted, as was his wife, but after several weeks, his penis had grown to nearly twenty inches. Ralph became quite concerned. He was having problems dressing, and even walking, so he and his wife went to see a prominent urologist.
After an initial examination, the doctor explained to the couple that, though rare, Ralph’s condition could be fixed through corrective surgery.
“How long will Ralph be on crutches?” the wife asked anxiously.
“Crutches? Why would he need crutches?” responded the surprised doctor.
“Well,” said the wife coldly, “you’re gonna lengthen his legs, aren’t you?