The Hooker’s First Trick

A new hooker just finished her first trick.
When she came back down to the street, the seasoned veterans all gathered around to hear the details.
She said “well, he was a big handsome and muscular Marine.”
“Well, what did he want to do?” they all asked.
She replied, “I told him that a straight lay was $100, but he said he didn’t have that much, So I told him that oral sex would be $75, but he didn’t have that much either. Finally I said, well, how much do you have?”
“The Marine said that he only had 25 bucks.”
The new hooker told him, “Well, for $25 all I can do is service you by hand.”
He agreed, and after getting the finances straight, she told the other hookers, “He pulled it out and I put one hand on it, and then the second hand above the first, and then the first hand above the second hand…”
“Oh my God!” they all exclaimed, “it must have been huge. Then what did you do?”
“I loaned him $75!” she said.

The Empty Account

The husband was furious when he found out their bank account was empty.
When he confronted his wife, she simply said, “It’s my turn.”
“What do you mean, your turn?” yelled the husband.
“In bed,” she explained, “you’ve been making early withdrawals for years. Now, it’s my turn.”