Misogynistic Mayhem

Be careful with these, guys. These could get you in the dog house:
1 – How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry It!
2 – What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.
3 – Why is the space between a woman’s breasts and her hips called a waist?
Because you could easily fit another pair of boobs in there..
4 – How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
Put a nipple on it.
5 – Why do women fake orgasms ?
Because they think men care.
6 – If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong?
Made her chain too long
7 – Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
8 – Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It’s one of those ‘evolutionary things’ that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
9 – Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women can’t shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
10 – If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course; He’ll shut up once you let him in.
11 – Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman’s sex drive by 90% or more. It’s called a Wedding Cake.
12 – Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.