Downsizing

I'm kind of getting tired of being on unemployment. Recently I discovered that minimum wage was a bit higher than the last time I was job hunting... Even though I'll lose money, I may just go that route so I can have something better to do with my time.

I’m kind of getting tired of being on unemployment. Recently I discovered that minimum wage was a bit higher than the last time I was job hunting. Because unemployment benefits are based on my last job,  I’ll lose even more money if I actually start working again. I may just go that route anyway, so I can have something better to do with my time.

Things you can say only on Thanksgiving or Christmas

Thanksgiving in the USA  is Thursday, November 26 this year. Here’s a few common phrases you will probably hear during the festivities (that would likely get you slapped otherwise).

1. Talk about a huge breast

2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.

3. It’s cool whip time.

4. If I don’t undo my pants, I’ll burst.

5. That’s one terrific spread.

6. I’m in the mood for a little dark meat.

7. Are you ready for seconds yet?

8. It’s a little dry, do you still want to eat it?

9. Just wait your turn, you’ll get some.

10. Don’t play with your meat.

11 Just spread the legs open and stuff it in.

12. Do you think you will be able to handle all these people at once?

13. I didn’t expect everyone to come at once.

14. You still have a little bit on your chin.

15. How long will it take after you stick it in?

16. You’ll know it’s ready when it pops up.

17. Wow, I didn’t think I could handle all of that!