To Live a Little Longer

“I’ve gone over the test results twice, Mr. Johnson,” the doctor explained. “I’m afraid you only have 1 week left to live.”

“Oh no! Doc, you gotta help me,” pleaded the patient. “I’m not ready to die. What can I do to live at least a little longer?”

“If you’re really serious, you need to give up greasy fast food, sodas, alcohol, smoking, and sex. You also need to go to bed early, get up early, and exercise every day.”

With hope in his eyes, the patient asked, “And if I do that, I might be able to live longer?”

“Well, no,” explained the doctor. “But it will make your last week feel like a decade.”

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