The New Hire

Tom got a new job. He worked Tuesday through Friday, but on Monday he would call the boss and say, “I can’t come in today. I’m sick.”

The same thing happened week after week. The boss was quite irritated, but he didn’t want to fire Tom because he was really good at his job. Instead he called Tom into the office and said,, “Listen, you’re a good worker, and I’m glad I hired you, but you keep calling in sick on Mondays. Will you tell me what the problem is? Do you drink a lot, do you take drugs?”

“I don’t drink at all, and I don’t do drugs,” explained Tom. “You see my sister is married to a guy who drinks every weekend. and then he beats her really badly. I go to visit her every Monday to make sure she’s OK. She starts crying on my shoulder, then one thing leads to another, and we start fucking.”

“You fuck your sister?” sputtered the boss.

Tom replied, “Hey, I told you I was sick.”

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